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  • Would Jew Believe It
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    A Testing Set Of Circumstances

    | NE, USA | Cheaters, Exams/Tests

    (I’m normally placed in advanced classes when it comes to English as it is my best subject; however, due to an error in my schedule I have been placed in normal English this year. This causes a girl next to me to quickly notice my grades on our tests and begin copying me. Today, however, she only has a pen to take the test, a test worth 65% of this unit’s grade. I have my pencil and proceed with the test. Sure enough, she copies every answer then rushes to hand hers in first.)

    Me: *seeing her hand in the test, I take out an eraser, promptly removing ALL of my answers*

    Girl: “What are you doing?”

    Me: *begins writing down completely different answers*

    Girl: “What are you doing?!”

    Me: *stands up and goes to the teacher, handing in the correct answers*

    Girl: “You b****! I’m going to fail!”

    (Needless to say she did in fact fail the test and stopped copying off of me. Though she was soon discovered copying off of someone else. She now takes all her tests in private.)

    A Class Deflection

    | Australia | Language & Words, Teachers

    (We have this one math teacher who has just started teaching us. Based on our first impressions of him, we get the feel that overall, he’s relatively serious, until this happens.)

    Student #1: “[Teacher], do you have a favorite class?”

    Teacher: “[Student #1], I don’t play favorites with classes or students.”

    Student #2: “Come on, [Teacher]. We all know that deep down, you must have a favorite.”

    (This goes on for a few more minutes, between the teacher and these two students.)

    Teacher: “Do you really want to know?”

    Students #1 & #2: “Yes!”

    Teacher: “Well, I can honestly say, that out of all the classes I’ve taught here, you guys are one of them.”

    (It took those two a while to catch on.)

    The Canterbury Fails

    | OR USA | Books & Reading, LGBTQ, Students

    (I go to an art school. My AP literature and composition class is full of juniors and seniors: teenagers with lots of imagination. We’re going over the Canterbury Tales when we get to the Pardoner and the Summoner…)

    Teacher: “Okay, so the Pardoner and Summoner are connected through work. The pardoner sounds like a high pitched goat and he sings ‘come hither my love.’ Can you guess what these two are?”

    Class: *silence*

    Teacher: “They travel together… One of them is vain; one of them ‘takes deep seconds.'”

    Class: *more confused silence*

    (By now I have already guessed that Chaucer made them ambiguously gay and I am struggling not to cry out “they’re having sex!” in the middle of class. My teacher keeps trying to get our class to connect the dots with little luck. finally…)

    Teacher: “Okay… the Summoner has zits all over his face, he ‘takes deep seconds’ from the Pardoner, and the Pardoner has zits all over his face.”

    Class: “Oooooh!”

    (I’m still shocked it took teenage art students so long to make that connection.)

    Would Jew Believe It

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bigotry, Parents, Religion

    (I am in eighth grade, and we are reading a book about the Holocaust, told in the perspective of the Jews. There are parts about the Jewish religion. The only time we spend talking about Judaism is when the teacher explains what the Torah and a few other words are. Also, parents have been walking around the school while waiting for an event to start. A parent walks into the classroom and stands in the back for a few minutes listening, as the teacher finishes explaining a Jewish term in the book.)

    Teacher: “…any questions?”

    Parent: *without waiting* “Why are you teaching them about Judaism?”

    Teacher: “Because in the book we’re reading it has terms from Judaism, and it will be easier for the students to understand what they’re reading.”

    Parent: “But you shouldn’t be teaching children about other religions.”

    Teacher: “Well—”

    Student #1: *cuts off teacher* “—Lady, he is just teaching us what some of these words mean so we have an easier time reading this book.”

    Student #2: “It’s not like he’s telling us that we should all be Jewish and that it’s the only right religion.”

    Parent: “But it’s wrong to talk about other religions.”

    Student #3: “Miss, if you’re more disturbed about us learning a small amounts about the Jewish religion than about the Holocaust, then you are a terrible person.”

    (The woman muttered something and then stomped out of the classroom.)

    A Dishonorable Attitude

    | USA | Bigotry, Teachers

    (Being an honors student, I’m in advanced classes that usually aren’t very large. and the classes mostly have the same group of kids who take honors courses. In English, we’re going over a scene from a book.)

    Teacher: “Okay, I’ll need some volunteers to act this out.”

    Male Student #1: “I’ll be [Male Character]!”

    Male Student #2: “Can I be [Female Character]?”

    Teacher: “Sure. Go ahead, guys.”

    (They proceed to act out the scene, which is a dialogue between a couple who are fighting with each other. Nobody bats an eye. Next period, our little group heads over to Spanish class, where we’re reading a short legend from a Spanish culture.)

    Teacher: *in Spanish* “So, we’re going to be doing this as a skit. Who would like to participate?”

    Male Student #3: “I’ll be [Hero].”

    Male Student #4: “I’ll be [Damsel in Distress].”

    Teacher: “What?! You can’t be [Damsel in Distress]! You’re a boy. Now, which girls in here would like to act?”

    (Nobody volunteers, so she points to a notoriously ditzy girl who can’t act to save her life.)

    Teacher: “[Girl], you do it. You’re best for the part.”

    Entire Class: *bursts out laughing*

    (The teacher kept insisting a boy couldn’t play a girl’s part, which only made the whole thing funnier. Needless to say, Male Student #2 wasn’t impressed.)


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