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    Ogling Swings Both Ways

    | USA | Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (A young, very good looking teacher joins this semester and all the girls swoon after him. This is my first class with him and many of my other female classmates do the same.)

    Teacher: “All right. Enough of this ogling, girls. Listen up, now. I’M GAY! Okay?”

    (My female classmates were all disappointed.)

    Male Classmate: “Hey, teacher! I’m gay, too. Can I ogle you?”

    Teacher: “Uhh. Oh, dear. But no, don’t ogle me either. Please.”

    A New Accent On Classic History

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, History, Language & Words, Teachers

    Me: “Guys, I feel like this studying Benjamin Franklin’s autobiography is boring you. Is it boring?”

    Class: “YEEEESSSSS.”

    Me: “How can I make it more interesting for you?”

    Student: *without hesitation* “Read it in accents.”

    (Benjamin Franklin met a Scottish accent, dear friends.)

    It All Equates To Tears

    | UK | Math & Science, Teachers

    (My teacher is talking the class through an equation.)

    Teacher: “Okay, so now what do we do?”

    Student: *without missing a beat* “Cry.”

    Stupidity Comes In Many Languages, Part 2

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Language & Words, Religion, Students

    (I go to a Catholic high school, and have a religion teacher who likes doing fake game shows as test prep.)

    Teacher: “Okay, first question. Did Jesus speak: a. Latin, b. Hebrew, c. Aramaic, or d. all of the above?”

    Student: “That’s a trick question; he didn’t speak any of those languages! He spoke Jewish!”

    Related:
    Stupidity Comes In Many Languages

    Trying To Fashion It Into Something It’s Not

    | Dallas, TX, USA | History, Politics, Students, Teachers

    (I’m in a world history class.)

    Teacher: *lecturing* “So the Italians were fascist, but the German system was actually quite different…”

    Me: *quietly* “But then fascism fell out of fashion, so it didn’t really matter anymore.”

    Friend: *overhearing me* “Fascism is always in fashion. Fascism is the new black!”


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