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  • October's Theme Of The Month: Literally Illiterate!

    A Study In Bullying

    | Langley, BC, Canada | Bully, Exams/Tests

    (In my math class, one of my classmates who is known for being a bit of a bully is caught copying off other people’s homework and even cheating on an exam. My teacher’s been keeping a close eye on him ever since, so he has taken to bothering me outside of class.)

    Bully: “Hey, how far along are you in the homework assignment?”

    Me: “It was pretty easy, so I already finished, actually.”

    Bully: “Good, now let me copy those answers off you.”

    Me: “I don’t think that’s a very good idea. You’ve already been caught copying and cheating numerous times, and if you start copying answers again, then you’re just gonna get in even more trouble. You even might be suspended this time.”

    Bully: “Ugh! Fine! Then explain to me how the answers work!”

    Me: *taken aback* “Umm, what?”

    Bully: “The reason I keep getting caught is because [Teacher] keeps asking me to explain how I got that answer! So tell me how the problems end up with those answers!”

    Me: “So you want me to carefully explain the equations to you, so you can figure out how to get the answers?”

    Bully: “Yeah!”

    Me: “You know what? I’m surprisingly okay with that.”

    (And that’s how I got “bullied” into helping someone study!)

    What Came First, The Chicken Or The Deer?

    | Montesano, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Students

    (We are in eleventh-grade algebra. It is the day before a chapter test, and for review, the teacher puts problems on the board. After each question, he asks every student a random trivia question for extra points. He gets to a student who is one of the few tenth graders in the class.)

    Teacher: “[Student]! What animal is eaten as much before it was born as after it has died?”

    (We all start laughing at the simple riddle.)

    Student: “Uh…” *looks around for help* “Cows!”

    (The class goes into uproar.)

    Teacher: “Umm, [Student]? How can you eat cows before they are born?”

    Student: “That’s how they get veal. right?”

    Teacher: “No, the answer was chicken. Uh, moving on.”

    The ‘Heart’ Is In The Wrong Place

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | LGBTQ, Love/Romance, Teachers

    (I’m with my friend at my locker, getting my books, when a teacher walks up from his classroom on the other side of the hall, and points out some graffiti that says “I heart Chris.”  I am female.)

    Teacher: *teasing and obviously just messing around* “Is that your boyfriend?”

    Me: “No, I don’t have a boyfriend.”

    Teacher: “Do you looooove him?”

    Me: “I’m gay.”

    Teacher: “That’s okay!” *he then flounces back to his classroom across the hall*

    He’s Only 80% Biological

    | Scotland, UK | Bizarre/Silly, Exams/Tests, Teachers

    (My biology teacher is demonstrating a small quiz students can take on a biology website he has recommended to us.)

    Teacher: “Now, if I’m any sort of biology teacher, I’ll have got 5 out of 5!”

    (He got 4 out of 5. I wonder what that makes him?)

    Back To The… Drawing Board

    | TX, USA | Geeks Rule

    (During the first week of math class, the teacher asked the class to state one goal of something they wanted to learn this year.)

    Student: “I want to learn time travel.”

    Teacher: “If I could travel through time without disrupting the space-time continuum, do you think I would be teaching high school math?”

    (General laughter.)

    Teacher: “I do have one suggestion for you, [Student].”

    Student: “Really? What is it?”

    Teacher: “Find a Delorean, invent a flux capacitor, get it up to 88 miles per hour, and see what happens.”

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