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    Pot Calling The Kettle Brownie

    | VA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Students

    (I am sitting at lunch with a group of my friends, when one of my other friends excitedly runs up to our table.)

    Friend: “Guys! Guys! Guess what? I got elected president of YADDAP!”

    (YADDAP is our school’s anti-drug group. It stands for Youth Against Drugs, Drinking, And Pregnancy. She is wearing one of their red ribbons that say: ‘Celebrate a drug-free [Home City]!’)

    Me: “[Friend], you got elected president of YADDAP?”

    Friend: “Yeah!”

    Me: “Didn’t you have a pot brownie before coming to school this morning?”

    Friend: “Yeah. What’s your point?”

    I’m Really Not Feline This Subject

    | AL, USA | Math & Science, Pets & Animals, Students

    (At our school, there are multiple choices for science classes after freshman year. It is towards the end of my sophomore year, and students are talking as we change classes.)

    Student #1: “Hey, does anybody know where we go for the cat dissection?”

    (Nobody responds for a moment, then…)

    Student #2: “Wow. I’m really glad I took chemistry.”

    Foyer And Away

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Musical Mayhem, Teachers

    (Our band director, while possessing a sense of humor, tends to be rather strict in her teaching style. As a result, a few students develop a rebellious sort of attitude with her. One has been making rather rude comments to her section for the past few minutes.)

    Director: “[Student #1], I’ve had it with your comments. If you think all of this is beneath you, then go stand in the foyer until we’re done.”

    (Student #1 actually does go stand in the little area in the entrance to the band room. The class proceeds normally, until the director tries to talk and is constantly interrupted by another student making noises with his trumpet.)

    Director: “[STUDENT #2]!”

    Student #2: *panicking* “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m REALLY sorry! PLEASE DON’T SEND ME TO THE FOYER!”

    (The class is dead silent for about three seconds, and then everyone bursts out laughing. The class ends, and as I go up to the director to return some music…)

    Director: *muttering in a high-pitched voice* “Please don’t send me to the foyer!”

    Pretty Hurts

    | GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers

    (A boy has come to school wearing makeup after losing a bet to his girlfriend.)

    Male Student: “Oh, you look fabulous.”

    Female Student: “Oh, my god, [Boy's name]! You would make such a pretty girl!”

    Teacher: *to female student* “Yes. And someday, you might too.”

    Gives New Meaning To Surprise Test

    | Columbia, SC, USA | Exams/Tests, Teachers

    (This is a note-heavy class, and our teacher has a tendency to forget certain points until after it would have been relevant to tell us.)

    Teacher: “Okay… did we talk about the Brownings?”

    Student: “No.”

    Teacher: “Oh! I didn’t mention the Brownings to the other class!” *immediately regains composure* “Oh well. It’ll surprise them on the test.”

    (She was joking; however, this happens unintentionally a lot.)


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