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  • The Teacher’s Demands Are Not Final (Fantasy)
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    Historical Sound-Bites

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Awesome, History, Teachers

    (I used to have a high school history teacher who made the weirdest remarks but it made it easier to remember everything for the final. I ended up getting a 98. It’s been three years since I was last in his class, but my younger siblings are going to be in his class next year. I am musing over some of his comments to them:)

    Teacher: “Russia was just like a giant amoeba, sucking everything up in its path!”

    Teacher: “I have a three-year-old daughter that watches Dora. I watched it with her one day and turns out after a three hour marathon she left after the first episode. I sat there watching Dora by myself.”

    Teacher: “I like to honk at the people at the golf course before they go to swing. It’s funny to see them throw their clubs in anger.”

    Teacher: “Before the UN was created, there wasn’t much to stop nations from fighting. Imagine a conversation going “nooo, stop” and the nation attacking just laughs and throws a bomb.”

    Teacher: *showing two images* “See this building? This is Japan after a tsunami hit back in [date] and this is from the bombing and WWII. What the h*** is this building made out of!? Kryptonite?!”

    Teacher: “If someone gave Adolf Hitler a hug and bought his paintings, he wouldn’t have taken over Germany. Ya know, just saying.”

    Teacher: “I know most of you have lunch right after this, and today is spaghetti day. Who wants to see images from WWII?”

    The Song Is Ever Endor-ing

    | NJ, USA | Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Musical Mayhem, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (When I have my students do timed work, I use my phone as the alarm.)

    Phone: “ALAYLOO!”

    Me: *turns it off* “Okay, time’s up. Pass up the papers.”

    Class: *stares at me in absolute confusion*

    Student #1: “What… what was that?”

    Me: “Oh, you see, I’m completely obsessed with Star Wars and that was the ‘Ewok Song.'”

    Class: “Can you play the entire thing?”

    Me: “After we get through the lesson, if there’s time, I’ll play it for you.”

    (End of class:)

    Me: “Okay, you have about 15 minutes left. I’ll play the ‘Ewok Song’ IF you start on the homework so I can answer questions.”

    (After the song:)

    Student #2: “If we memorize that, can we get extra credit?”

    Me: “School’s policy is no extra credit.”

    Student #3: “So, then, um… can we get a homework pass?”

    Me: “I do homework passes! I would be very impressed if you can memorize it all!”

    Several Students: “WE’RE GOING TO DO IT!”

    (I’m looking forward to this school year.)

    Crafting An Education For Yourself

    | Reading, UK | Geeks Rule, Geology, Students, Theme Of The Month

    (We’re in science class, taking a quiz about ‘crazy science facts.’ I’m assisting one of the teams.)

    Student: “‘Oil can be made from coal. True or false?'”

    Me: “What do you think?”

    Student: “It’s false, ‘cos you can’t do that on Minecraft.”

    Just One-Upped The Debate Team

    | NS, Canada | Geeks Rule, Students, Theme Of The Month

    (I’ve joined the debate club in my school, and when we aren’t actually doing anything productive, we have smaller debates between each other about things we enjoy. Classmate #1 and I have gotten into a debate about which is the better Mario brother.)

    Classmate #1: “Dude, Mario is totally the better one! That’s why he has so many more games! He’s better than Luigi at everything.”

    Me: “Bro, you could not be more wrong. Luigi is better in every way possible. Not only is he taller, I’ve done the math and he can jump six feet higher. He can also float when he jumps. He has one of the best weapons in all of gaming, the ‘Poltergust 3000,’ and even though it’s an obvious Ghostbusters rip-off, the thing can shoot fire, which, if he and Mario fought, could burn Mario to a crisp in a matter of seconds. He might be clumsier than Mario, but that only adds to his charm. Furthermore, he is faster than Mario, and better skilled with his weapons. He has appeared in almost every game Mario has been in, as a playable character no less, plus some of his own, meaning that technically, Luigi has even more games than Mario does. Also, this is entirely based in opinion, but not only is green a much better colour than red, his moustache is even better.”

    Classmate #1: *speechless*

    Classmate #2: “[My Name], if you did half as well as that than when we were actually working, we would get so much done…”

    (To this day, we have debates about other things, too, but the Mario one has always been my favourite.)

    The Teacher’s Demands Are Not Final (Fantasy)

    | CO, USA | Games, Geeks Rule, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (My teacher doesn’t believe in giving extra credit to students who want it just to pass. When they ask for it, he gives them crazy requirements for them to earn it. Note: He’s also a giant nerd and doesn’t hide it.)

    Student: “Is there anyway for me to get extra credit so I can pass?”

    Teacher: “[Student], you’re so far down the hole right now you need all the help you can get. Go tame a Chocobo, befriend a Yoshi, and find an Elder Scroll, and you may have enough help to pass this class.”

    (The next class she comes in with a plush Chocobo and Yoshi, and a replica of an Elder Scroll.)

    Teacher: *without any surprise when he sees her* “Good. Put the same effort into this catch up packet here and you have a chance of passing.” *hands her a thick stack of papers*

    (Apparently she did, because she passed!)

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