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    The Philosophy Of Photography

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

    (I’m in creative photography class. My teacher puts up a photograph taken by a famous photographer.)

    Teacher: “All right, who took this photo? He’s famous!”

    Classmate: “Aristotle?”

    Thou Shalt Not Bribe

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Exams/Tests, Language & Words, Religion, Teachers

    (My religion teacher has her class memorize one Bible verse per week. At the beginning of the next week, as a scripture quiz, we are expected to write out last week’s verse. She gives us the first two words as a cue. This particular week, a lot of us are having trouble remembering it, so she offers us the third word as well.)

    Classmate: “Can we get the fourth word?”

    Teacher: “No… you usually only get two and now you have three. I think that’s good enough.”

    Classmate #2: “Can we get the seventh word?”

    Teacher: “No.”

    Classmate #1: “Can we get the first syllable of the fourth word?”

    (Our teacher shakes her head.)

    Classmate #1: “I’ll give you 20 bucks!”

    Teacher: “Let’s think about this. You are trying to bribe a religion teacher. What is wrong with this picture?”

    Classmate #1: “I don’t think it is. I think it’s a very nice picture!”

    It’s Either That Or A G-String

    | OH, USA | Musical Mayhem, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (We’re in choir. Our director is telling the altos that the majority of them should not try for the higher note, and should instead stay on the lower note, a D.)

    Director: “Eh… most of the altos should take the D.”

    (The bass and tenor sections start snickering up a storm.)

    Director:  *glares* “Smooth.”

    This Ninja Is Crackers

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Students

    (I teach Spanish at a high school. Today, we’re discussing foods:)

    Me: *in Spanish* “What do you eat for lunch?”

    Student: *in Spanish* “I eat crackers in the library.”

    (I am new to this school and not yet familiar with all of the school’s policies, but it seems a bit odd to me that students would be allowed to eat in a library. I decide to ask:)

    Me: “They let you eat in the library here?”

    Student: “No, but I’m a ninja.”

    All Hail The Oxford Comma

    | Plano, TX, USA | Awesome, History, Language & Words

    (We are discussing the usage of the Oxford Comma, where a comma is placed before the “and” when listing words.)

    Teacher: “Okay, so for those of you not sure of whether or not to use the comma, here’s an example of where it would matter.”

    (He writes: “We invited the strippers, Hitler, and Stalin.” on the board.)

    Teacher: “Now, if we were to put the Oxford Comma in, like so, we will be having a great time with two of history’s worst men. But if we don’t—” *he erases the second comma* “—then our party will really suck.”

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