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    College Can Make You Feel Snowed Under

    | England, UK | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a few weeks before the Christmas break, the snow has been getting worse. Unfortunately for me my classes run until 8 pm and I don’t drive.)

    Me: “Sorry, teach?”

    Lecturer: “Yes?”

    Me: “Is there any chance of being let out early? Some of us have a far way to go and the snow is pretty bad.”

    Lecturer: *looking out the window* “Hmm, yes, I suppose you’re right. We will see how it goes.”

    (An hour passes, I can see other students leaving en masse, and the weather is getting worse.)

    Me: “It’s really getting bad out there. Can we go?”

    Lecturer: “No, it’s not that bad. You kids are always trying to get out of work.”

    Me: “I have a six-mile bike ride!”

    Lecturer: “Well, give it another hour.”

    (30 minutes later there is no let up, the other students start to complain as they start to worry about driving home.)

    Lecturer: “Oh, okay then. You can go.”

    (There was a complete white out. I could barely ride my bike and ended up walking most of the way home. It was so cold my breath froze on my scarf. What made it worse was the next lesson the lecturer complained how long it took his car to warm up.)

    Lesson At No Risk Of Failing

    | The Netherlands | Awesome, Bizarre/Silly, Teachers, Technology

    (I’m studying for music tech. Our live sound teacher can be quite unusual in his teaching methods.)

    Teacher: “To show you what a proximity effect on a glass surface does to your microphone, I will now present, circus [Teacher]!”

    (He proceeds to grab a spinning desk chair, climbs on it, while handling a +€300  microphone, and puts it next to a high placed window while talking in the mic.)

    Teacher: “So as you can hear, the sound becomes distorted. Also, do NOT try this at home. Some of my colleagues would kick my ass if they saw me putting such an expensive piece of equipment at risk.”

    Me: “Sir, then why are you standing on a SPINNING desk chair?”

    Teacher: *climbs down* “Well, you wouldn’t pay this much attention if it wasn’t risky, wouldn’t you?”

    (He had a point…)

    Makes You Want To Cursive

    | MA, USA | Language & Words, Teachers

    (My professor is attempting to draw a cursive “I” on the whiteboard, getting more frustrated as he can’t remember what it looks like.)

    Professor: *tries to draw an ‘I’*

    Me: “That’s the number nine.”

    Professor: *frustrated, draws again*

    Me: “That’s a cursive ‘D.'”

    Professor: *angrily giving up*

    Me: “That that’s a treble clef!”

    The Force That Makes You Flee From Bugs

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Awesome, Language & Words, Math & Science, Teachers

    (I am taking physics and biochemistry this semester. The professor is explaining to the class how centrifugal force really doesn’t exist.)

    Physics Professor: “‘Centrifugal’ means ‘fleeing the center’. If this really existed, then if you tie a weight on a string, whirl it around in a circle and let go, the weight would make a sharp right turn and fly off radially from the circle. Instead, what it does is continue in a straight line, tangentially to the circle. This is called ‘centriPETal force,’ meaning ‘attracted to the center.'”

    Me: “Yeah, but what about that machine upstairs in the bio-chem lab that I use to concentrate my samples? Everyone calls it a centrifuge, right? What am I supposed to call it instead, a centripete?”

    Physics Professor: *without blinking an eye* “Only if it has a hundred legs.”

    Show A Bit Of Bloody Compassion

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Exams/Tests, Health & Body, Teachers

    (We’re sitting in Typography class waiting for a quiz to start when a girl walks in holding her hand.)

    Student: “Um, siiiir?”

    (She holds up her arm and blood is gushing out of her palm.)

    Student: “I need some help bandaging this up.”

    (The professor makes no movement to help so another student rushes up.)

    Professor: “Our quiz is about to start. This is your only chance to take it.”

    Student #2: “She needs stitches and has to go to the hospital!”

    Professor: “Well, she can go after or forfeit a grade.”

    Student #3: “There’s a first aid kit in the main hallway.”

    (The three students leave.)

    Professor: “Well, they’re all receiving a zero.”

    (He then proceeded to leave the room after them. After 10 minutes we peeked our heads outside and there was a TRAIL of blood on the floor. Turned out the professor stood there watching them patch her hand until they left to take her to the hospital to get stitches. He really did fail them!)

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