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    The Mother Of All Scholars

    | Boston, MA, USA | Parents, Teachers

    (Before class, my history professor is telling us about a conference he’ll be attending.)

    Professor: “The only bad thing about this conference is that it takes place really close to where I grew up, which means my mom will be in the front row.”

    Me: “Wait, so, your mom comes to conferences and listens to you?”

    Professor: “Listen? No. She sits in the audience and asks questions! I swear she does research just so she can ask ones that completely stump me. My mom is even worse than most academics, and that’s saying something.”

    (Classmate #1 enters the room in time to hear only the last sentence.)

    Classmate #1: “Oh, your mom’s a scholar, too?”

    Professor: “Yes. Yes, she is.”

    Classmate #1: “What’s she a scholar of?”

    Professor: “Annoying the s*** out of me!”

    An Ocarina Of Times Long Past

    | Houston, TX, USA | Geeks Rule, Students, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m an incoming college freshman attending a two-day orientation, during which I go around the school getting acquainted with the campus and enrolling in classes. Since it’s very sunny during those two days, I wear a baseball-style hat with the Hylian Crest from the Legend of Zelda series embroidered on it. I get a number of comments on it while there, including:)

    Student #1: “Cool hat! Is that a Game of Thrones thing?”

    Student #2: “What’s the symbol on your hat mean? Is it a band’s logo or something?”

    Student #3: “So, is that, like, a religious thing, or…?”

    (On my last day there, however, when I’m with an academic advisor enrolling in classes:)

    Advisor: “Okay, I know you’ve probably been asked this question all day, but I have to ask. What is the symbol on your hat?”

    Me: “Um, well, it’s actually the Crest of a kingdom called Hyrule from the Legend of Zelda series. It’s a videogame thing.”

    Advisor: “Oh, I remember that game! I used to play it all the time on my NES when I was younger!”

    (After we got my classes sorted out, he and I spent about half an hour talking about our experiences with saving Princess Zelda, and video games in general. Turned out he loved playing video games when he was a kid, and he still has a bunch of NES cartridges and the zapper gun in his attic!)

    Studying About Life, The Universe, And Everything

    | USA | Awesome, Geeks Rule, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (Our professor is telling us about what we can do if we need homework help. Lectures for this course are on Tuesdays and Thursdays.)

    Professor: “For an hour after every lecture, I’ll be in my office, which is [location], to help answer your questions. On Mondays, you have lab with your TAs, so you can ask them any questions you have too. [TA #1] has office hours on Monday, and [TA #2] is trying to figure out her schedule, but she should have office hours on Wednesday and Friday. So, every day of the week, you can come to office hours and ask any questions you may have. For [Course], at least. Um… And the answer to all other questions is 42.”

    Teacher Just Got +5 Cool Points

    | Ukiah, CA, USA | Geeks Rule, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a college student. I know this subject well and am several weeks ahead in the homework. This is four weeks into the semester and it’s the first time I’ve been playing while the teacher happened to walk by. Previously I had always been either doing my work or helping my classmates.)

    Me: *playing a popular MMORPG*

    Teacher: *walks up behind me without me noticing* “Is that [Game]?”

    Me: *jumps in surprise* “Uh, yeah.”

    Teacher: “What level are you?”

    Me: “81.”

    Teacher: “Cool” *continues wandering to help other students*

    Can’t Take Fresh Jokes

    | Newark, NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geeks Rule, Teachers

    (One of the physics professors is quite young-looking. We’re grading finals and he’s telling stories.)

    Professor: “…so when security showed up, they demanded my student ID. And when I gave them my ID, which says ‘faculty’ on it, they wanted to confiscate it for being fake! Luckily [Other Professor] was there to vouch for me.”

    Other TA: “Hey, prof, what’s your secret for staying so young looking?”

    Professor: “Good genes. You know, people used to ask me that, and I used to say that it was all my time working with gamma radiation, but I don’t say that any more.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Professor: “Freshmen can’t take a joke.”

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