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    Ever-Present Voice Of A Teacher

    | VIC, Australia | Teachers

    (At our school we have multiple classes combine, and the teachers take turns teaching the entire group. This is the last lesson before the holidays and one of the teachers is telling us about holiday lectures for subject.)

    Teacher #1: …because I’m sure you all could use a break from hearing our voices all the time.”

    Teacher #2: *quietly* “God, yeah.”

    Me: *sniggers*

    Teacher #2: “You heard that?”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Teacher #2: “I should have been quieter, then.”

    Scientific Knowledge Is In Hot Water

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (A 10th-year high school class is visiting my library. I overhear the following conversation:)

    Student #1: “…Well, submarines can’t stay down forever. They need to come up for air.”

    Student #2: “Nah, they just have to boil some water.”

    Student #1: “What?”

    Student #2: “Well when you boil water, it turns into air, so they just take water from the ocean and boil it to get fresh air.”

    Student #1: “Oh, my f***** God, [Student #2]. Are you serious?”

    Student #2: “What?”

    (I didn’t hear the rest. I had to walk away quickly to stop myself from laughing. These students were around 15 years old!)

    An Electric Sense Of Humor

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Staff

    (I am at a recruitment dinner for the PhD program, consisting of me (a current student), another current student, five prospective students, and two professors. Professor #1 is a new appointee, and is friendly but somewhat nervous, because Professor #2 is a type-A Nobel Laureate and one of the most respected in the field. Professor #2 is telling stories for about 15 minutes until there’s finally a lull in conversation.)

    Professor #1: “…So, [Professor #2], what’s changed the most about [School] since you’ve been here?”

    Me: *chiming in* “Besides electricity.”

    Professor #1: *eyes pop open*

    Professor #2: *laughs* “Have you guys met [My Name]? He used to be a student here!”

    (Thankfully, and unbeknownst to Professor #1, I had TA’d for Professor #2 and had a rapport of sorts with him.)

    Multiple Class Syndrome

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Homework, Teachers

    (I’m taking a 101 drawing course as part of my freshman year. The freshman course for art students in my college is very rigorous. The professor that teaches this particular class is an adjunct, so this is her only class and her first year teaching it. This conversation happens about a month into the class.)

    Professor: “I have to say, I’m kind of disappointed in you guys. A lot of you don’t finish your assignments on time, and when you do they aren’t up to the quality I’d expect.”

    Student #1: “Well, you do give us an awful lot of work…”

    Me: “Yeah, the assignments you give us are usually at least 10 hours of work on their own each week.”

    Professor: “That’s not so bad! You only have, like, three other classes, if they all give you the same amount it would be about a full work week!”

    Class: “…”

    Professor: “What? What did I say?”

    Me: “[Professor], most of us have a total of about six or seven classes a week. I think a few of us might have eight.”

    Professor: “Really!? No way!”

    Student #2: “I have my schedule right here if you don’t believe it…”

    (She apologized profusely and cut down on our workload after that!)

    Needs To Wake Up And Remember The Coffee

    | San Jose, CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Teachers

    (I am having a chat with my Honors pre-calculus teacher when he suddenly looks confused.)

    Teacher: “Where’s my coffee?”

    Me: “No idea.”

    (The phone rings.)

    Teacher: *without asking who’s calling* “I left my coffee, didn’t I?”

    (His coffee was delivered to him later during class.)


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