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    Spelling Beee

    | Nottingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words, Students

    (I am in electronics class, sitting next to my friend. He is fairly bright, but stops to check his spelling.)

    Friend #1: “Hey, [My Name]? How do you spell “electrode”?

    Me: “E-L-E-C-T-R-O-D-E.”

    Friend #1: “Are you sure? That looks weird, I thought it ended in ‘T-R-O-W-D’?”

    Me: “Nope, pretty sure mine is the correct way.”

    Friend #1: “Okay, thanks.”

    (Five minutes pass by.)

    Friend #1: “How about ‘vacuum’, please?”

    Me: “V-A-C-U-U-M…” *and, because I am unable to resist* “…E.”

    Friend #1: “Thanks.”

    (Friend #2, sat on the other side of Friend #1, shoots me a confused look but I shake my head and stifle a laugh. The look in Friend #2’s eyes means he knows what I’m doing. Five more minutes pass.)

    Friend #1: “How about ‘etched’?”

    Me: “E-T-C-H-E-D… E.”

    Friend #1: “…wait, that doesn’t look right at all.”

    Friend #2: “No, that’s right. It’s how I always spell it.”

    Friend #1: “Really?”

    Friend #2: “Honest!”

    Friend #1: “…it still doesn’t look right. Well, whatever, I’ve run out so can you loan me some more paper?”

    Me: “P-A-P-E-R… E.”

    (A full ten seconds of silence goes by. Then…)

    Friend #1: “D*** YOU!” *begins erasing whole sentences that he’s been writing for most of the lesson*

    Dialed Home The Message

    | WI, USA | Teachers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the first day of the classroom portion of driver’s ed. Since the class takes place during the summer, not many people are paying attention. The teacher is going over the class syllabus and is talking about the cell phone policy.)

    Teacher: “I do not want to see ANYONE using their phones during class. You shouldn’t be using your phones while you’re driving, and you shouldn’t be using them when learning about driving. If I see a phone out during class…”

    (The teacher pauses and takes his cell phone, which is a flip phone, out of his pocket. He then throws his phone across the room, where it lands on the floor and breaks in half. This causes multiple students who weren’t paying attention to look at him in disbelief.)

    Student: “Holy s***!”

    Teacher: “Don’t like it? Then don’t take out your phone.”

    (We didn’t have a single issue with cell phone usage!)

    Oh, Brother…

    | Selma, AL, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Parents

    (My five-year-old son has just started kindergarten. Because he was a preemie and is tiny for his age he is somewhat spoiled. The phone rings on his first day of class and I have been expecting a call related to him not sharing. This is the conversation with his teacher:)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Teacher: “May I speak to Mrs. [My Name]?”

    Me: “This is she.”

    Teacher: “Mrs. [My Name], you need to talk to your son!”

    Me: “About…?”

    Teacher: “His words!”

    Me: *thinking he said something rude* “Okay, what did he say?”

    Teacher: “He said SIBLING!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what did you say he said?”

    Teacher: “He said the word ‘sibling’ and he cannot POSSIBLY know what that means!”

    Me: “Why don’t you go ASK him if he knows what it means?”

    Teacher: “No! You need to talk to him!”

    Me: “No, I don’t think so. I think you need to go back to the classroom and ask my son what the word ‘sibling’ means.”

    Teacher: “Well, even if he does, the other kids don’t and it is rude!”

    Me: “If you think the word sibling is rude, perhaps you should re-evaluate your career options!”

    (For the record, my son not only knew what it meant, but a whole lot of other words that she found to be unacceptable in a five-year-old!)

    Not Making The Grade

    | USA | Exams/Tests, Ignoring/Inattentive, Students

    (All teachers must give baseline assessments at the beginning of the year containing information that will be covered that year, and then give another similar test at the end to gauge how much the students learned. The students are not graded on their work, because they’re basically taking tests on materials they haven’t learned yet. Good luck explaining that to them, though:)

    Teacher: “Make sure you put your name on this, and don’t worry; if you see information you don’t know, leave it blank or take an educated guess. This won’t count toward your grade.”

    Student #1: “It’s being graded?!”

    Teacher: “Nope, this is just an assessment to see what you may already know, or may have covered in middle school.”

    Student #2: “I’m gonna fail! I don’t know any of this!”

    Teacher: “I promise you won’t fail. You’re not getting a grade. This is for me only.”

    Student #3: “Oh, man, I don’t want this to be graded.”

    Teacher: “It won’t. I promise. It’s going to be just fine. Now, make sure that you put your name on both the test and the answer key—”

    Student #4: “I can’t believe we’re getting a test before we’ve learned this stuff. I’m gonna bomb.”

    Teacher: “It’s not getting graded. It’s just for me to gauge your progress.”

    (She finishes handing out the papers and tells them to begin. Five minutes later…)

    Student #5: “Wait, this is getting GRADED?!”

    Teacher: *facepalm*

    Anxious Over Lack Of Anxiety

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s my very first day of school and I’m three years old. My mother is waiting with me for school to start, anxious and worried about how I’ll react to the big change. We arrive outside the classroom.)

    Me: “Okay, Mommy, you can go to work now.”

    (She still teases me about that.)

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