• First Grade Problems
    (422 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Horrible Histories!

    A Lecture On Lecturers

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Awesome, Politics, Teachers

    (The professor is discussing some problems with the university’s new timetable system, which isn’t made by the teaching staff.)

    Professor: “The number one rule to life at university is to ignore the bureaucrats and listen to the lecturers.”

    A Colorful Approach To Work

    | NM, USA | Holidays, Students

    (It’s the day after St. Patrick’s Day, and students are supposed to be working on a reading assignment. The students are six-seven years old:)

    Student #1: “Hey, [Student #2]! You’re still wearing green!”

    Student #2: *completely serious* “And you’re still not doing your work.”

    An Ancient Joke

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Parents, Teachers

    (My year-eleven classics teacher is teaching us about archaeology. At some point he starts to ask us if we have any artifacts ourselves.)

    Student: “Yeah, my mom.”

    (Everybody laughs and our teacher just stands there staring at him.)

    Teacher: “You know, parent-teacher interviews are coming up, and I have a good memory. Maybe I’ll tell her that joke.”

    Expecting A New Virgin Birth

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Students

    (We are changing after P.E. (gym) and I overhear this:)

    Girl: “Don’t worry about it. In nine months time, you’ll be a virgin again!”

    I Am Feeling Very Alcohol

    | Merced, CA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (In English class one day, we are talking about synonyms and antonyms to “mix up” our writing for an upcoming essay.)

    Professor: “Who can tell me three synonyms for happy?”

    Student: “Sex, drugs, alcohol.”