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    That Final Project Opened Some Doors For You

    | AB, Canada | History, Students, Technology, Top

    (I’m studying radio broadcasting at a tech college, and one day we have a special guest speaker. This speaker is an alumni of the program and has gone on to become one of the most prominent station managers in our city. After his talk, he turns to leave our classroom, and trips over something. He stops, looks down, and grows wistful.)

    Professor: “Hey, [Station Manager], is everything okay?”

    Station Manager: “Yeah, fine. It’s just this 8-track tape you’re using for a doorstop. I recognize the label. It was my final project 20 years ago.” *sigh* “All that work…”

    Hope The Calculator Has A Panic Button

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Students

    (I am sitting in my algebra class.)

    Professor: *after writing a complicated problem on the board* “What do we do next?”

    Student Behind Me: “Panic.”

    Can’t Engineer A Solution

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Sports, Staff, Students

    (I am going through my incoming orientation at my new college. They have grouped us by year and major so everyone in my group is transferring in as third year computer engineers. Our orientation guide is showing us the various buildings around campus.)

    Orientation Guide: “And here we have our campus’ athletic center. This is where all of our sports teams meet and train. Are any of you planning on joining one of our teams?”

    Our Group: *silence*

    Orientation Guide: “Come on, aren’t there any athletes here?”

    Our Group: *more silence*

    Orientation Guide: “No one wants to play football or wrestle?”

    Me: “We’re engineering majors.”

    Putting The Lesson On Hold

    | GA, USA | Awesome, Spouses & Partners, Teachers, Technology, Top

    (My professor has a policy that if your phone isn’t silenced, and it rings in class, you can dance to the ringtone or she can answer it. If it’s a text, she can reply to the text. During class, her phone goes off.)

    Professor: “Was that my phone?” *checks phone* “D*** it. Okay. I should probably be shamed for this, shouldn’t I?”

    Classmates: “Yes!”

    Professor: “It was my husband, so I’m going to call him. If he picks up, I want you guys to say ‘Hi! You’re interrupting our class!'”

    (The professor calls her husband and puts the call on speaker.)

    Classmate: “You’re really doing it?”

    Professor: “Yup.”

    Husband: *picks up phone* “Hi, what’s up?”

    Classmates: “Hi! You’re interrupting our class!”

    Husband: “Then why did you call?”

    Professor: “The cell phone policy in my syllabus. If I’m guilty, I should be treated the same.”

    Husband: “Yes, you should.”

    Professor: “So I’m calling you so that I can be shamed.”

    Husband: “As you deserve to be!”

    Professor: “Okay, I’m going to go back to teaching.”

    Husband: “Bye, everyone!”

    Classmates: “Bye!”

    Professor: *hangs up phone* “So what were we talking about? Oh right, regional dialects!” *continues lecturing like nothing happened*

    Stupidity Comes In Many Languages, Part 2

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Language & Words, Religion, Students

    (I go to a Catholic high school, and have a religion teacher who likes doing fake game shows as test prep.)

    Teacher: “Okay, first question. Did Jesus speak: a. Latin, b. Hebrew, c. Aramaic, or d. all of the above?”

    Student: “That’s a trick question; he didn’t speak any of those languages! He spoke Jewish!”

    Stupidity Comes In Many Languages

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