• Justice Is An Art Form
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  • November Theme Of The Month: Horrible Histories!

    On A Roll

    | Winston-Salem, NC, USA | Teachers

    (We have a substitute teacher for class one day. She has a bit of trouble calling the roll.)

    Sub: “Chris!”

    Three Chrises: “Which one!?”

    Sub: “Chris C!”

    Two Chrises: “Which one!?”

    Sub: “Uh, Chris Col-, Cala-, oh, never mind! You’re both here!”

    Independent From Thought

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

    Student: “Wait, we gained our independence from Britain?”

    Teacher: “This is seventh grade level history.”

    Student: “Well, I thought we just became America after Christopher Columbus landed here.”

    A Carnal Knowledge On The Subject

    | ON, Canada | Health & Body, Language & Words

    (We are in sixth grade. Our teacher is telling us that when he was travelling, he once saw two animals mating.)

    Student: “They were doing what?”

    Teacher: “They were mating.”

    Student: “What do you mean by mating?”

    Teacher: “Well, you know, they were mating so they could have children.”

    Student: “I don’t understand…”

    Teacher: “They were mating; having sex!”

    (That explanation was a bit easier for the student to follow.)

    This Lesson Is Beyond Engaging

    | IL, USA | Awesome, Teachers

    (My Catholic Sunday school teacher has been engaged since before I came into his grade, and his fiancée sometimes checks in on us. One Sunday, he walks in and does this.)

    Teacher: *shows us his ring finger* “Boom. Married.”

    (The whole class applauds, then he continues teaching as if nothing happened.)

    Multitudinous Ways To Be Mutinous

    | PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students, Teachers

    (Our band director is giving us the rules for the year.)

    Band Director: “Don’t ever go in the kitchen without permission. Contrary to what the percussion thinks, it is not a hallway from the garage to the mirror room. It’s where we keep things we don’t want you to touch. It’s also where [Chorus Director] and I will hide if you decide to launch a mutiny against us.”

    Student: “Do you really think that if we were to launch an uprising, the fact you told us not to go in the kitchen would stop us? It’d be like, “Hey, [Band Director] told us not to go in there. We’d better stay out, guys.””

    Teacher: *cuts him off* “See? Common sense.”