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Doesn’t Have A Foot To Stand On

| CT, USA | Health & Body, Staff

(On Halloween, my sister trips and breaks her foot. She is given a walking cast and a pair of crutches. The next day our mom drives her to school and brings the doctor’s note to the nurse.)

Nurse: “[Sister] can’t bring the crutches with her. The note doesn’t say anything about them.”

Mom: “She’s got a broken foot; she needs the crutches to walk.”

Nurse: “She needs a note for them. This one only covers the walking cast.”

Mom: “Are you serious?”

(My sister ended up spending the day at home while my mom called the doctor to get a note for the crutches. We’re not sure what the nurse thought she was doing by trying to force my sister to walk on a broken foot, but that was normal behavior for the woman.)

A Pterrible Teacher

| Coon Rapids, MN, USA | Language & Words, Pets & Animals, Teachers

(I am speech delayed. I am more adamant about reading, since my mother figures I can still read even though I can’t talk. A few years later, this causes me to be a few reading levels ahead of my classmates, and makes me a bit of a know-it-all when it comes to spelling. In a kindergarten class, we are practicing the alphabet and deciding what animals go with what letter. We reach ‘P’ and understandably everyone gets stuck.)

Me: “Pterodactyl!”

Student #1: “That doesn’t start with ‘p!’”

Student #2: “Yeah, that starts with ‘t!’

Me: “Nu-uh! It starts with ‘p!’ Right, [Teacher]?”

Teacher: “No, [My Name], it starts with ‘t.’”

Me: “Nu-uh! I read a book and it started with ‘p!’”

Teacher: “Sweetie, it starts with ‘t.’ Can you think of any other animal that starts with ‘p?’”

(I ended up hiding in the cubby area. My grandfather had to come pick me up because I refused to come out because they wouldn’t believe me.)

Dying To Use The Bathroom

| NH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, History, Teachers

(In my history class we’re talking about assassinations in medieval Europe.)

Professor: “So, do any of you know where the most common place for a person to be assassinated was?”

Student #1: “In public?”

Professor: “No, that would mean too many witnesses.”

Student #2: “Inside the target’s home?”

Professor: “You’re close. I was actually referring to a specific room. Can you guess which one?”

(The class is silent.)

Professor: “All right, I’ll tell you. It was… the bathroom.”

Student #3: “What?!”

Professor: “Yup. Because most people would be too busy holding up their pants to fight back. In fact, some of the records we have from that time reference this. Oh, the Latin may translate to something like, ‘Killed while in a compromising position,’ but what they really mean is, ‘THEY GOT HIM WHILE HE WAS TAKING A S***!’”

(I don’t think I’ll ever forget where the most common location of medieval assassination was.)

Better Off Learning In A Fortress Of Solitude

| CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Teachers

(I am in geography class. The teacher has tasked us with finding random information, like capital cities, in an atlas and writing questions for our classmates. Annoyed with the simplicity of the task, I put down a sarcastic question.)

Teacher: *reading question* “What is the largest city in Antarctica?”

Student #1: “The atlas says Antarctica is uninhabited.”

Student #2: “No. The map’s got places marked on it, so it must have cities in it.”

(The students argue back and forth for several minutes, while I try not to laugh and the teacher scrutinizes the atlas.)

Teacher: “Here, I think I found it!” *indicates a mountain on the Antarctica map*

Look Who’s Talking

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students

(At my school, we have two periods of AP Government and Politics. I am in the second, and waaaay more talkative, class. We are discussing the quiet first period. )

Friend #1: “They’re SO quiet! I could talk more than all of them combined!”

Friend #2: “Not only can you talk more than them, [Friend #1], but you do.”


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