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Top 5 Funniest Stories Of October 2014

| Not Always Learning | Roundups

October 2014 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Learning’s top-rated stories last month!

  1. Heartbreak High (1,069 thumbs up)
  2. Getting A B(S) Grade (1,053 thumbs up)
  3. Group Fail (959 thumbs up)
  4. A Negative Teaching Experience (877 thumbs up)
  5. An Accented Teaching Style (846 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Drinking Will Be Your Downfall

| UK | Extra Stupid, Students

(My PSE teacher is telling us about how dangerous and risky graffitiing on the railway is. She explains how, when we are younger, we think we are invincible, and gives us an example.)

Teacher: “When I was in my early twenties, I did something so dangerous, that the thought of it sends shivers down my spine.”

Class: “What was it?”

Teacher: *deadly serious* “I jumped from one balcony to another in a hotel, drunk. The memory still haunts me.”

Student: “Why? Did you fall?”

Sweet Tasty Punishment

| VA, USA | Awesome, Food & Drink, Teachers, Technology

(On the first day of our math lecture our professor warns us to never let her hear or see our phones in her class. She does not give a consequence if something like this happens. During the second week of class, someone’s phone goes off and she quickly pinpoints the offender out of about 200 of us.)

Professor: “Okay. What’s your name?”

Classmate: “[Classmate].”

Professor: “Well, [Classmate], I warned everyone to never let me hear your phone in this class. Next class you will have to bring in cookies for everyone. And I don’t mean any of those cheap crappy cookies. If you don’t, you will receive a failing grade on your next test.”

(Sure enough we got cookies the next class. We got cookies four times that semester. No one knew if she was serious, but they didn’t want to find out.)

Having A Ball With The Bully

| NY, USA | Bully, Geeks Rule, Students

(I am fairly well-known as kind of odd and geeky, and have been teased and mocked all my life for my various quirks. Lately, I’ve figured out a method to deal with people being jerks. The classmate in question is spectacularly obnoxious, and has seen me playing Pokémon while waiting for class to start on several occasions. We are working in groups.)

Obnoxious Classmate: *stumbles repeatedly over pronunciation of an Italian word*

Me: *politely* “It’s actually [correct pronunciation].”

Classmate: *angry and offended* “Oh, what do you know about it? Go buy an ultra ball and leave the rest of us to actually STUDY!”

Me: “Actually, I generally get pokéballs; they’re the most cost-effective. Great balls and ultra balls have higher catch rates, but the increased expense is far higher; an ultra ball is twice as likely to catch, true, but six times as expensive — meaning it’s more effective and cost-efficient to just buy six poke balls, for six times the capture chance.”

Classmate: “…”

(He never bothered me about playing Pokémon again!)

The Canterbury Wails

| USA | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque, Students

(I am a junior in high school taking a course on early British literature. At the moment, we are reading The Canterbury Tales. My teacher breaks us into groups and assigns us each a tale to act out. One group is assigned The Miller’s Tale, a sexually explicit story about a cheating wife. Their turn:)

Girl: *in character* “No, we mustn’t. We can’t!”

Boy: *in character* “Of course we can! Nobody will know!”

(He then proceeds to lift the girl onto a table at the front of the room and physically simulate intercourse, complete with moans and banging on the table. My best friend, in the group, holds out a yard stick with the word ‘censored’ taped to it. The class is dying of laughter at this point. Our teacher has buried her head in her arms at her desk and refuses to look up.)

Group: *when finished* “The end!”

Teacher: *after several moments* “I am so glad an administrator was not walking by.”

(The door to our classroom was wide open. Years later when I visited her classroom, she introduced me as “[My Name]. Her class is the reason we don’t act anything out anymore.”)

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