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    Sticking With Answer Number One

    | USA | Health & Body, Math & Science, Students

    (We are in science class.)

    Teacher: “If I have a liquid, how can I change the volume of it?”

    Student: “Pee in it.”

    Teacher: “No…”

    Student: “Pour some of it out.”

    Teacher: “Correct.”

    Student: “… and THEN pee in it.”

    Attention Doesn’t Span Very Far

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Lazy/Unhelpful, Students

    (We have a guest lecturer for this class.)

    Guest Lecturer: “I’ve been reliably told that the average adult attention span is now 10 minutes, so if I bore you feel free to go to sleep.”

    Student Behind Me: “That’s my cue.”

    Learn Better In A Dog Day Afternoon

    | MN, USA | Awesome, Pets & Animals, Teachers

    (I am a high school freshman. I have an English teacher who is favored by mostly everyone for his humor and the activities he often does. We are doing an assignment near the end of class.)

    English Teacher: “Now, I remember some of you were asking about my dog…”

    (Lo and behold, he is holding a puppy on a leash. Keep in mind; this is in the middle of the school day. The class starts an uproar as he lets the class come up and pet her. At the end of class, I approach him.)

    Me: “How did you get the school to let you bring your dog into class?”

    English Teacher: “They let me do a lot of things they don’t know about.”

    Flawed Banter Grades Low

    | VA, USA | Exams/Tests, Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (We are studying etymology, and the structure of languages trees. Our teacher is known for being informal and cool.)

    Me: “Gah! I can’t seem to remember the order.”

    Classmate: “Hold on, I’m in it…”

    Teacher: “Come on. There are only four things to remember. ‘Family, Branch, Group, and Language. After that you get creoles, pidgins, and dialects, but you won’t be tested on that.”

    Me: “I know, but it’s—”

    Classmate: “I got it! ‘Fat B****s Get Laid!'”

    Teacher: “Well, I guess that will do. Can I use it for my next class?”

    (It’s been four years and I still remember it!)

    This Is How You Remind Me What Is On The Exam

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Exams/Tests, Musical Mayhem, Politics, Teachers

    Professor: “Before we start discussing Congress, I was looking at a recent poll. Did you all know that America dislikes Congress more than cockroaches AND Nickelback?! I had no idea disliking Nickelback was a thing!”

    (The class agrees, affirming that Nickelback hate is definitely a thing.)

    Professor: “Well, I didn’t know that. But, evidently America prefers them over Congress. I should put that on the exam. Should I?”

    (Again, we all laugh and agree. A month later, all thought of government and disliked bands forgotten, we are taking the final exam.)

    Question #60: “True or False: Congress is less popular than Nickelback.”

    From Not Always Romantic:
    This Is How You Remind Me I Am A Jerk
    This Is How You Remind Me We Are Engaged
    This Is How You Remind Me I Am An Idiot

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