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  • Pushing Forward From Holding Back
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  • Turning The Airwaves Blue

    | Australia | Extra Stupid, Rude & Risque, Students, Technology

    (We’re in an IT tutorial, discussing wireless security. Our tutor mentions that a lot of people don’t secure the Bluetooth on the phone.)

    Tutor: “Has anyone ever turned on their Bluetooth and found heaps of unprotected devices?”

    Classmate: “Yes! I did that once on the bus. I decided to teach them all a lesson on wireless security, so I sent them all an image. Their reaction was priceless!”

    (The classmate is known for having a mind ‘in the gutter’.)

    Tutor: “Can I assume this image came from the same gutter as your mind?”

    Classmate: “Of course! But it’s okay. You couldn’t see my face in the photo.”

    Their Score Was Already High Enough

    | Germany | Exams/Tests, Health & Body, Students, Theme Of The Month

    (I am back in school for the first day after a nasty case of tonsillitis and am still on antibiotics. I still feel a bit unwell. We are writing an English test, and after completing two of the three questions I estimate that with those answers and the grade for the language I’ll end up with at least a C for the test. So, I turn it in and leave. The next week after we got the test back: I managed a B-.)

    Teacher: “[My Name], why didn’t you answer question three at all?”

    Me: *dead serious* “I was on drugs…”

    The Teacher Is All Not Knowing

    | USA | Bizarre/Silly, Exams/Tests, Teachers, Theme Of The Month

    (I had just taken a test on the summer reading that we were supposed to do, and one of my answers is marked wrong. I get up and go to the teacher.)

    Me: “Teacher, this question that I got wrong…”

    Teacher: “Yes, what about it? You put ‘I don’t know’ in the blank. Of course you would get it wrong if you don’t know!”

    Me: “But… the question asks what the main character is told to say when asked about his past. In the book, he is told to say ‘I don’t know,’ so that’s what I put.”

    Teacher: “…”

    Me: “Did you even read the book?”

    Teacher: “O-of course I did! Let me see the test.”

    (She pretended to deliberate, then marked my answer right eventually.)

    Wherefore Art Thou Passing Grade?

    | NY, USA | Books & Reading, Students, Teachers, Top

    (I am in freshman English class reading ‘Romeo and Juliet.’  It’s the last class of the day and it’s a warm spring day, so no one wants to be there. There are only two girls in the class so some of the boys, myself included, get female parts from time to time. This day I am reading Lady Capulet. A boy reads his line in a very monotone and dry manner.)

    Teacher: “Come on, guys. Tybalt was just murdered! There was a fight! Put some emotion into it!”

    (The next boy reads his line also very monotone. At this my teacher just slumps into her seat in defeat. It’s now my turn to read Lady Capulet’s monologue accusing Romeo of killing Tybalt. I summon all the femininity, rage, and pain to my voice and deliver the speech, standing up in the middle of the speech, knocking over my chair, and then collapsing to the ground when I’m done. My teacher looks up with tears in her eyes.)

    Teacher: “[My Name], you just got an ‘A’ for the rest of the year. Don’t even bother coming to class anymore.”

    The Final Word Is Not Final

    | IN, USA | Exams/Tests, Extra Stupid, Students, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m in my Spanish class. The teacher is talking about our final exam.)

    Teacher: “Instead of a normal test, there’s an essay and an oral speaking test. So there’s no real final exam.”

    Student #1: “That means no final exam, right?”

    Teacher: *sighs* “Yes, [Student #1]. For the third time, no final exam.”

    Student #2: “So… we don’t have a final exam?”

    Teacher: “No! There is no final exam!”

    Student #3: “Wait a minute! What’s this about no final exam?”

    (Everyone face-palmed.)

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