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    Teachers Who Get Students Who Don’t Get Math

    | Summerland, BC, Canada | Awesome, Teachers, Themed Giveaway

    (I nearly failed fourth grade because I didn’t ‘get’ math. My teacher that year was a remarkable woman for whom I will carry love and gratitude to my dying day. The difference she made for me was in seeing the potential I had and spending 1-2 hours a day, after school, tutoring me in the fundamentals like times tables and fractions and how to use them. As life goes on I move away, but she often asks my parents how I am doing. Fast forward a while, and my oldest son has just finished fourth grade with a teacher who made a real difference for him. I am visiting my home town, and decide it is time to thank my fourth grade teacher in person. I call her number.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I speak to [Teacher's Name]?”

    Teacher’s Daughter: “This is her daughter. My mother is in a retirement home.”

    Me: “Oh, I see. I am an old student of hers, and I wanted to pay a visit.”

    Teacher’s Daughter: “You’re welcome to visit, but don’t expect too much, as she has dementia and has trouble remembering.”

    (I visited her with my son, who looked a lot like I did at that age. She didn’t recognize me at all, but remembered my name and, quite naturally, assumed my son was me. We had a 10 minute chat, as that was all she could manage. I did get to thank her, but had put it off for too long. The lesson for all those who may read this, and who have had a teacher/professor/mentor that they want to thank, is, don’t wait.)

    Actually You Can Flog A Dead Horse

    | USA | Awesome, Pets & Animals, Teachers, Themed Giveaway

    Teacher: “Okay, this week we’re going to be teaching about animal teeth and how they vary depending on what the animal eats. We’ll be using the various skulls I have so you students can get a hands-on look at the teeth. Each group is going to need the skull of a herbivore, carnivore, and omnivore. I’ll start assigning those now.”

    Student: “Cool. Is this one a horse?”

    Teacher: “Yes. That one’s Heidi. We had to have her put down about five years ago.”

    (It turned out all three of the horse skulls she had were from horses she had actually owned, and she could still recognize which was which. Whenever they died she’d put the head in a tank with some flesh-eating insects and let them clean the skull off. To this day she’s still the coolest teacher I’ve ever had.)

    Teaching Is Not His Only Calling

    | Meadville, PA, USA | Awesome, Students, Teachers, Themed Giveaway

    (I am in my first day of freshman English. Our professor, who stands six foot one and has his head shaved, is famed throughout the college for his pranks.)

    Professor: “And do NOT let a cell phone ring in my class. You will regret it.”

    (Two weeks into class, a girl’s phone rings in her bag.)

    Professor: “Ooh, a phone! Let me answer! Let me answer!”

    (He jumps up and down beside the girl’s desk like a little kid, holding out his hand for the phone. Looking like she wants to sink through the floor, the girl digs her phone out and passes it over.)

    Girl: “It’s my boyfriend…”

    Professor: “Oh, even better!” *answers phone* “Hello? No, it’s not a wrong number. She’s right here. Of course you can talk to her. Hey, honey, roll over!”

    (Most of us lose it at this point as the professor, beaming broadly, passes the phone back to the girl. Cringing, she holds it up to her ear and squeaks out five words.)

    Girl: “Can I call you back?”

    (We were uninterrupted by phones for the remainder of the semester.)

    Show Your Professor Some Puppy Love

    | Durango, CO, USA | Awesome, Teachers, Themed Giveaway

    (I have a professor in college who was well known for his elaborate Halloween costumes. I am walking across campus to class. Someone dressed in red high heels, a coat with plastic puppies sewn to it, a knee length dress, a black and white wig, and a cigarette holder approaches me.)

    Professor: “Hello, [My Name]!”

    Me: *not sure who it is* “Um… Hi?”

    (I stared at this person and it suddenly clicked that it’s my professor. He just walked away as I gaped, open mouthed, at him. I got to class early to watch as my classmates stopped dead in the doorway, staring at the professor before hurriedly going to sit. The best part? My professor taught class dressed as Cruella De Ville as though he dressed like that every day. Best. Professor. Ever.)

    Talking Non-Cents

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Students

    (I’m tutoring a student in algebra after school.)

    Me: “Okay. So, now you just need to divide 150 by 25.”

    Student: “I need a calculator.”

    Me: “No, you don’t. How many quarters would it take to get $1.50?”

    Student: “Six.”

    Me: “Good. So 150 divided by 25 is?”

    Student: “I told you I need a calculator to do that.”


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