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    Not Putting Their Soul Into It

    | GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students

    (My drama class is doing improv exercises.)

    Teacher: “Okay, so imagine you’re making an energy ball. Imagine its size, weight, and what it’s made of. Be creative. [Student #1], what’s your ball made of?”

    Student #1: “Bubblegum.”

    Teacher: “What about you, [Student #2]?”

    Student #2: “Music.”

    Teacher: “And you, [My Name]?”

    Me: *hoarse voice* “THE SOULS OF MY ENEMIES.”

    Pretty Hurts

    | GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers

    (A boy has come to school wearing makeup after losing a bet to his girlfriend.)

    Male Student: “Oh, you look fabulous.”

    Female Student: “Oh, my god, [Boy's name]! You would make such a pretty girl!”

    Teacher: *to female student* “Yes. And someday, you might too.”

    Gives New Meaning To Surprise Test

    | Columbia, SC, USA | Exams/Tests, Teachers

    (This is a note-heavy class, and our teacher has a tendency to forget certain points until after it would have been relevant to tell us.)

    Teacher: “Okay… did we talk about the Brownings?”

    Student: “No.”

    Teacher: “Oh! I didn’t mention the Brownings to the other class!” *immediately regains composure* “Oh well. It’ll surprise them on the test.”

    (She was joking; however, this happens unintentionally a lot.)

    Pray They Don’t Teach Math

    | NY, USA | Math & Science, Teachers

    (I return to college after serving a couple of terms in the military. While on campus I run into one of my grade school teachers.)

    Teacher: “Oh, I remember you! You’re [My Name].”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. You were my second grade teacher.”

    Teacher: “What have you been doing?”

    Me: “Well, I did about 13 years in the Navy and now that I’m out I decided to use my GI bill towards a degree.”

    Teacher: “So, you’re about 18 now, right?”

    Grand Theft Automatically Declined

    | NM, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Staff, Teachers

    (I am an elementary education major. The elementary schools in my area require students to have a ‘blue card,’ which lasts through a student’s entire college career. I am in one of my major classes and my professor is explaining about blue cards.)

    Professor: “It costs about $47, and that covers a background check, fingerprinting…”

    Student: “So about the background check. What if you have a mark on your record? It’s nothing big: just stealing a car…”

    (The professor had a look on her face that looked like a cross between trying not to laugh and trying to think of an acceptable answer!)

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