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    Language And Career Lessons

    | MA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (I’m in a Mandarin Chinese class where we’re preparing for the final exams. We’re playing a Jeopardy-style game where the teacher gives us a prompt to answer in Mandarin. Though we’re working in teams, only one person is allowed to come up with the answer. One girl from another team gets called up for the prompt, “Ask and tell price using the phrase ‘duo shao qian’.”)

    Student: “Ni duo shao qian?” *how much are you?* “Wo yi qian.” *I am one dollar*

    Teacher: “…”

    Class: *begins to giggle*

    Teacher: “[Student], qing chong fu.” *please repeat*

    Student: *repeats the answer*

    Class: *starts laughing*

    (After that, the teacher called on someone else to give an answer. Apparently the student meant to give that answer from the start, so the teacher ended up giving her team the amount of points the question was worth.)

    Ungodly Godly Behavior

    | St. Paul, MN, USA | History, Religion

    (I have a literature teacher who has a reputation for saying funny things. This occurs during a Greek mythology lesson.)

    Teacher: “Zeus was King of the Gods, and he was also God of a lot of other things: the sky, thunder, prophecy, unfaithful husbands…”

    Sees All And Hears All

    | Antioch, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Teachers

    (Our male industrial tech teacher has a tough, ‘drill sergeant’ type attitude sometimes, though he’s not so bad once you get used to him. He also has a shaved head.)

    Teacher: “Hey! I see you back there with your cell phone! Don’t think you can hide from me! I see everything in this room! I’m like an eagle!”

    Male Student: *whispering to a friend* “Yeah, a BALD eagle!”

    Teacher: *whips around to face the other student* “What did you just call me?!”

    (The boy looked terrified while most of the class either laughed or cringed sympathetically. Luckily, the teacher just laughed it off and the boy didn’t get it further trouble.)

    The Money Isn’t The Only Thing That’s Fake

    | London, England, UK | Math & Science, Money, Teachers

    (I have recently gone back to college to get more qualifications. As part of the induction day we do an activity in groups where we are given one hundred fake pounds to buy materials with which to make a raft. My team comes up with a design that will cost 63 fake pounds, leaving us some change to make later additions if we want them. We go to the materials “store” to buy our materials and I have this exchange with the person running it.)

    “Store” Keeper: “So that’s… £30 plus £8, add £25 so it’s uh…”

    Me: “It’s £63.”

    “Store” Keeper: “That’s right; £63 please.”

    (I hand over £65, expecting £2 in change.)

    “Store” Keeper: “Okay, here is your change.”

    (He hands me £35.)

    Me: “Are you sure about that?”

    (He proceeds to explain the huge train of logic he went through to get there which had something to do with me paying £65 total and handing over £100.)

    Me: “But I gave you £65… You owe me £2; that’s it.”

    “Store” Keeper: “Oh… uh, yes, that’s right. Sorry.”

    (The best part? I found out the next day that he was my maths teacher…)

    Laryngitis


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