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    Deathproof

    | TX, USA | Exams/Tests, Students

    (We are taking our final exam. At this point, I have been awake for exactly 32 hours. A few minutes into it, the professor makes her way to the front and starts writing on the board.)

    Professor: *writing* “Give me proofreading or give me death!”

    Me: “Not too sure about the first part, but I can do that last part.”

    Top 5 Funniest Stories Of February 2015

    | Not Always Learning | Roundups

    February 2015 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Learning’s top-rated stories last month!

    1. Was Bra-ced For A Different Reaction (2,014 thumbs up)
    2. You Are Literally Wrong (1,898 thumbs up)
    3. My Dinosaur Ate My Homework (850 thumbs up)
    4. Filipinos Have Twenty Different Words For Snow (816 thumbs up)
    5. Missing Evidence (723 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Oh The Irony…

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    Incontinent About The Asian Continent

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Students

    (In eighth grade, I take a cooking elective that involves partnering up with two or three other kids in the class. I’m Chinese, and rather obviously so, with an unambiguously Chinese last name and Asian features.)

    Partner: “So, [My Name], are you Asian or Chinese?”

    Me: “…I’m both. China’s in Asia.”

    Partner: “Really?”

    (I had to actually get out an atlas and show her that China was in Asia.)

    Devilishly Good Parkour

    | AB, Canada | Sports, Students

    (A classmate of mine is an extremely skilled traceur – a practitioner of parkour – and will demonstrate tricks for us if we ask. We’re set to have a guest speaker come in today and are waiting for him to arrive.)

    Me: “Hey, [Traceur], can you show us your new trick again?”

    Traceur: “All right.”

    (Halfway through the trick, which involves him flipping off the wall, the guest speaker comes in and sees him.)

    Speaker: “…What the hell? Which demon did you have to sell your soul to be able to do that?”

    (To this day, whenever he does a trick, we ask him which demon he takes parkour lessons from.)


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