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    Oh, My Professor

    | USA | Awesome, Teachers

    (It is the first day of class. My classmates and I are unsure of how to address the professor.)

    Me: “Sir, what do you prefer to be called? Professor [Last Name]?”

    Professor: “No! That’s way too formal to me, and I won’t answer if you say it. You can just call me [First Name].” *pauses for a moment* “Or you can call me God. I respond to that, too.”

    Wasn’t Attracted To The Subject

    | Reading, England, UK | Exams/Tests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Students

    (At a revision lecture for one of the hardest modules in my engineering degree, a student who didn’t attend a single lecture walks in.)

    Lecturer: “Can I help you?”

    Student: “No, I’m fine.” *sits down*

    Lecturer: “This is ‘electromagnetism and its applications.’”

    Student: “Yeah, I know.”

    Me: “Good luck, mate…”

    Student: “I read the lecture note on day one. This s*** is easy.”

    (The next week he sat down for the exam, wrote his name, stared blankly at the question paper for 10 minutes, and then left without writing anything.)

    Maybe Pocahontas Watched Hercules

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Language & Words, Movies & TV, Teachers

    (I’m in the fourth semester of a four-part ancient Greek course. We changed professors at the beginning of the semester and this new one is known to be very difficult and much older than the last one. The only people left in the class are me and my friend, who is a graduate student.)

    Professor: “[Friend], can you translate this for me?”

    Friend: “It’s something about a river.”

    Professor: “It’s a very famous quote attributed to Heraklitus and it goes something along the lines of ‘You can’t step in the same river twice.’”

    Friend and Me: *laughing*

    Professor: “You’re laughing because you understand what the quote means, right?”

    Friend: “No, no. It’s a song from Pocahontas.”

    Me: *singing*Just around the river bend!

    Professor: “Apparently Pocahontas was an avid student of Heraklitus.”

    Be Careful When Picking Your Fraternity Denominations

    | CA, USA | Dorms, Extra Stupid, Religion, Students

    (I’m standing in the hallway, waiting for class.)

    Student #1: “Can a person be a moral Christian in a fraternity?”

    Student #2: “I’m a Catholic, not a Christian…”

    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 6

    | Norway | Extra Stupid, Students

    (We’re out jogging in the woods for PE class when a guy bikes past.)

    Classmate #1: “Hey, it looked like that guy was wearing 3D-glasses!”

    Classmate #2: “Wow, that would be weird, seeing the woods in 3D. Hey, what if we could see the woods in 3D?”

    Classmate #1: “Yeah, that’d be cool.”

    Me: “Um, you guys are aware that you already are, right?”

    Classmate #2: “Okay, now I feel stupid.”

    Related: From Not Always Right:
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 5
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 4
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 3
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2
    Get A Life
    A New Dimension Of Stupidity

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