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    Politically Incorrect And Technically Correct

    | USA | History, Rude & Risque, Students, Top

    (I am a student in a US history class. We just finished the 60s era and took an open form test on it yesterday. Today, we trade papers with our neighbors and are grading them out loud so we can debate answers if needed…)

    Teacher: “Okay, the next question: ‘The Kennedy Brothers were the first brothers to do what?’ The answer: Run for presidency.”

    Student Grading My Test: “Uh, sir… This guy put down ‘Marilyn Monroe’…”

    (The class starts snickering. I start fading into the chair.)

    Teacher: *considers it a moment* “I guess that is technically true. Full credit for that answer.”

    Nuts About A Lack Of Nuts

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Teachers, Top

    (I’m about nine years old, and lining up for lunch. Because my lunches are packed by my parents I use a different door to the people getting school lunches. Lining up with everyone else, I notice a teacher at the front of the line wearing rubber gloves, going through the lunches of the people trying to get in. She has a bin next to her. When I get to the front of the line, the teacher snatches my bag off me before I can get in.)

    Me: “Um, what are you doing?”

    Teacher: *rooting around in my bag* “Looking for nuts; they aren’t allowed anymore.”

    Me: “I hate nuts! I don’t have any. Can I go in?”

    Teacher:  *ignoring me and taking out my sandwich* “What’s in here?”

    Me: “[Famous brand of hazelnut chocolate spread], I think.”

    Teacher: “That has nuts in it.”

    (The teacher then unceremoniously drops my sandwiches in the bin.)

    Me: “I need to eat that! I’m hungry!”

    Teacher: “Nuts are banned. You should have thought about that!” *holds up small bag of chocolate chip cookies* “How about these?” *reads packet* “Ah, ‘contains nuts.'”

    (She proceeds to drop my cookies in the bin as well.)

    Me: “That’s my food!”

    (Completely ignoring me, the teacher looked in my bag again, then seemingly satisfied she handed it back. Sitting down, I found to my horror that I only had a drink and an apple left. When I got home, I told my parents the whole story, causing them to phone the school in anger. They weren’t the only ones; so many people complained that I never heard about that rule again!)

    When Double Take Is Aptly Named

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Teachers, Top

    (My younger sister and I are both attending college at the same time, and this semester we have different classes with the same psychology professor back-to-back. The professor is known to have a good sense of humor, so the two of us decide to prank him, since we look enough alike to be mistaken for one another despite our age difference. For my sister’s class, I walk in and sit in the seat she usually sits in, and am wearing the cat-ear hat she usually wears.)

    Professor: *taking attendance* “[Sister]?”

    Me: “Present!”

    (It actually works, despite the fact we both sit in the front row in our respective classes and he’s spoken to both of us often enough, and despite my sister’s classmates all looking at me oddly. I sit through my sister’s entire class and take notes for her, while she listens in from the hallway. At the end of class, I walk out, and my sister walks in for my class, her hair down like I usually wear mine, and she sits in my usual seat while I get comfortable in the hallway to eavesdrop.)

    Professor: *again taking attendance* “[My Name]?”

    Sister: “Here!”

    (It works again! She goes through my class taking notes for me while I listen to the lecture from outside. After class is over, she waits to talk to the professor and I walk in to chat with her while the professor talks to one of my classmates about the homework assignment.)

    Professor: *after finishing with my classmate, looks up to talk to my sister* “Okay, so, [My Name]—”

    (He stops dead seeing us standing side by side, me in the cat ears and my sister with her hair down, both of us grinning like maniacs while trying not to dissolve into a fit of giggles at the stupefied expression on his face as the realization belatedly dawns.)

    Professor: “…how did I not notice this?!”

    (It later was used as an example in my class when we got to the section about memory and pattern recognition.  The following semester, I take the class my sister had taken previously…. and walk in the first day wearing the cat ears, and sit in my sister’s usual seat.)

    Professor: *taking roll the first day* “[My Name].” *looks up at me, does a double take* “Wait, what are you doing in here? You aced this course last semester.”

    Me: *grinning like an idiot* “[Sister] said to say hi!”

    Professor: *realization dawns* “D*** it, [My Name]! You two aren’t even twins! How do you keep doing that?!”

    Ogling Swings Both Ways

    | USA | Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Teachers, Top

    (A young, very good looking teacher joins this semester and all the girls swoon after him. This is my first class with him and many of my other female classmates do the same.)

    Teacher: “All right. Enough of this ogling, girls. Listen up, now. I’M GAY! Okay?”

    (My female classmates were all disappointed.)

    Male Classmate: “Hey, teacher! I’m gay, too. Can I ogle you?”

    Teacher: “Uhh. Oh, dear. But no, don’t ogle me either. Please.”

    Adopting A New Teaching Style

    | FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Teachers, Top

    (In fourth grade, I have an older teacher that is renowned for her strictness and lack of tact. We’re currently discussing the ‘abortion vs. adoption’ controversy in which she, being very conservative and religious, is pro-life and very intent on proving it.)

    Teacher: “I don’t know how this could be more obvious! People must live with the consequences! Look at [My Name], she was adopted and is perfectly fine!

    Me: *blinks confusedly*

    Rest Of The Class: *turns to stare at me, horrified*

    (And that was how I found out I was adopted. It had apparently been brought up in a parent/teacher meeting some weeks before, for reasons I still don’t know.)


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