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    Ignorance Versus Stupidity

    | VA, USA | Cheaters, Exams/Tests, Top

    (Our history teacher has just handed back our quizzes, but kept back papers of two classmates. One of those classmates was known for his constant attempts to cheat off other people.)

    Teacher: “As you can see, I have kept [Classmate #1] and [Classmate #2]‘s papers. Unfortunately, [Classmate #1] missed several questions.”

    Classmate #1: “Aw, man!”

    Teacher: “Even more unfortunately, [Classmate #2], who sits directly behind her, has given the same wrong answers to those questions.”

    (At this point, Classmate #2 looks like a deer in the headlights.)

    Classmate #1: “Seriously? Why would you cheat off me? You know I’m dumb!”

    Teacher: “Now, now, you are not dumb. You are merely drowning in a sea of ignorance. That said, [Classmate #2] has in fact received a zero, and amply demonstrated the difference between ignorance and stupidity. Thank you!”

    Third World Problem Solving

    | London, England, UK | Awesome, Geography, Politics, Students, Teachers, Top

    (Our geography class has been divided into groups, each representing a country, and sent to a table in the school dining hall. The tables are filled with a mix of paper, pencils, scissors and rulers. Each country is given $500 of its local currency and we are told we have to create shapes from the paper to sell at the world bank, who is represented by our usual geography teacher. The catch is that countries like the UK and USA have lots of scissors, pencils, and rulers but not much paper, and the third world countries have lots of paper. Since their national currency isn’t worth anything they cannot afford to buy the scissors or rulers to cut their paper, but rich countries with lots of money can buy the paper really cheap and make shapes to sell. I wound up in a third world country and decide I wasn’t going to lose, so I take all of our paper and money and go to the USA.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m from Ghana but we’re losing badly. If I give you my nation’s resources and money can I be American?”

    USA Team Member: “No. Go away.”

    Me: “Okay, fine.”

    (I go to the UK instead.)

    Me: “Hi. I’m from Ghana but we’re losing badly. If I give you my nation’s resources and money can I be a UK citizen?”

    UK Team Member: “Sure. Just start cutting out squares quick.”

    (My best friend is also in a third world nation and decides he wants to win, too, and cheats by stealing from other countries and ‘sneaking’ across international borders when restrictions of trade were put in place. At the end of the class we are speaking to the head teacher.)

    Me: “So, you aren’t annoyed that I cheated my way into another country?”

    Head Teacher: “You stole your countries natural resources and sold them out for personal gain… Who said that was cheating?”

    Me: “You mean to say that although probably not what you expected I behaved exactly like someone with power in a third world nation might by exploiting his own nation to benefit himself, right?”

    Head Teacher: “Exactly.”

    (To this day that ‘geography’ class is still the best education I have ever had on how world politics works.)

    Putting The Psycho Into Social Psychology, Part 2

    | AZ, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Students, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (We are in a psychology 101 class in a lecture hall at the beginning of a midterm. A few minutes in, a student’s phone starts to ring loudly.)

    Student: *answering the phone, yelling* “WHAT?!… A FIRE?… AT THE CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL?! I’M ON MY WAY!”

    (The student proceeded to stand up and rip off his jacket, revealing a Superman t-shirt and cape. He then runs up to the front, across the stage screaming ‘up up and away,’ trips, and runs out of the room.)

    Professor: “And that is why there is good money in psychology.”

    Related:
    Putting The Psycho Into Social Psychology

    Firing Up A Passion For Science

    | Vienna, VA, USA | Awesome, Math & Science, Teachers, Top

    (My chemistry teacher in high school is a bit of a pyromaniac.)

    Teacher: “Today, we’re going to learn about endothermic and exothermic reactions. [Student #1], can you hold this jar for me?”

    (Student #1 holds the plastic jar that has two nails driven into the sides. The teacher pours a chemical into the jar, and closes the jar with a rubber cork.)

    Teacher: “Okay, [Student #1], I can take the jar. [Student #2], can you take this copper coil and touch one of the nails?”

    (Student #2 does as directed, and the rubber cork shoots across the room, putting a dent into the whiteboard.)

    Teacher: “Okay, that was an exothermic reaction, caused by electricity. As you can see, the chemical is still on fire. Watch this.”

    (The teacher pours the chemical out onto the floor, where it continues to be on fire.)

    Teacher: “I love having tile floors. Now watch this.”

    (The teacher pours more of the chemical into a line, connecting to the line that is currently on fire. The flame starts to crawl along the line.)

    Teacher: “This is also an exothermic reaction.”

    Student #3: “Um, Ms. [Teacher], you got some of the chemical on the table leg. Isn’t the table made of wood?”

    Teacher: “Oh, crap. Does anyone have a bottle of water handy so I can cause a quick endothermic reaction?”

    (This teacher also set fire to an M&M, made Dragon’s Breath for fun, and showed us how marshmallow Peeps inflate and deflate in a vacuum chamber.)

    So No No

    | Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Language & Words, Students, Technology, Top

    (I am a lab assistant in our computer lab. I am telling another assistant that the majority of student questions can be answered with just ‘Yo,’ ‘Oh,’ ‘So,’ and ‘No.’ My friend laughs and is just about to tell me I am full of it when a student walks up to me:)

    Student: ”Excuse me.”

    Me: ”Yo!”

    Student: ”I’m working on this program for the intro class.”

    Me: ”Oh?”

    Student: ”I have the program ask for a number from the user.”

    Me: ”So?”

    Student: ”Can the person type the word for a number instead of the numbers?”

    Me: ”No.”

    Student: ”Okay, thanks.”

    (I smiled at my friend who was laughing and speechless.)


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