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    Category: Technology

    Get Hack To Work

    | MA, USA | Lazy/Unhelpful, Students, Technology

    (I am in a Java class, where I am a bored over-achiever and the person sitting next to me basically needs me to teach them everything. I have finished the weekly project early, so I open up a hacking type videogame for fun. I proceed to hack into a bank, and find the accounts in it, then proceed to hack into each account separately and transferred the money out into my game account, then delete all proof of my actions before the trace completes. Gaming need satisfied, I shut the game down and am about to start daydreaming, when I notice the guy next to me looking at my screen with big white eyes.)

    Guy: “Did you just…” *too scared to say more out loud*

    Me: *couldn’t help but smirk because it is funny*

    (The guy proceeded to be very very careful around me and began studying Java seriously for the rest of the semester. Heh, go gaming.)

    Email Fail, Part 3

    | GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Students, Technology

    (When students start school with us, they are required to do an online orientation that explicitly states they are to check their student email account at least once a day. This is doubly important if you are a student in an online only program. Additionally, before classes begin, I send another email to their personal account on file letting them know we’ll no longer be mailing them at their personal account and we need them to check their student email from now on.)

    Student: “I don’t understand! I’m new; last semester was my first semester here. I’ve emailed [My Name] and called her several times and she hasn’t responded. This is ridiculous! Classes start next week and I haven’t been signed up for ANYTHING!”

    Coworker: “Well, I can go ahead and make you an appointment with her this afternoon…”

    Student: “YES! GOD!”

    (She makes the appointment and lets me know. I look at the student’s file and note that he has been sent no less than SIX emails regarding advisement and registration and has NOT emailed or called me. I call him at his appointed time.)

    Me: “Okay, before we start, I just have one quick question for you. Have you been checking your student email account?”

    Student: “No.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (After a pause.)

    Student: “Should I be?”

    Me: “Well, it’s how the university contacts you on official business and how I contact you about advisement and registration…”

    Student: “Oh, so do you want me to check it now?”

    Me: *sigh* “Well, considering we’re already speaking, I don’t think it matters…”

    Related:
    Email Fail, Part 2
    Email Fail

    An Application Of Stupidity

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Staff, Students, Technology

    (I work for the admissions office at my college. One day, a girl comes in screaming that she had never heard anything from us regarding her application.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ll check our system and see what’s happening to your application.”

    Angry Girl: “Yeah, you better, and I want a discount on my course since you’ve put me through all this trouble.”

    Me: “Well, looking at the system we have no record about your application. Can you tell me when you applied and for what course?”

    Angry Girl: *pulls application form out of her purse and tells me the info*

    Me: “Excuse me, but you actually have to hand in the application for us to process onto the system. If you’ve had it in your purse we would not know you wanted to apply.”

    Angry Girl: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “Well, if you complete an application but leave in in your bag, how are we to know you want to apply? We need you to actually give the form to us so we can process it. So, it looks like the reason you never heard from us is because you never actually sent in your form.”

    Angry Girl: “That’s not good enough! You should KNOW that I wanted to apply!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but like I said, if you don’t send in your form we would have no way of knowing you wanted to apply. However, I’ll take your form now and process it straight away.”

    (I tried to take the form off the girl. She refused to let go of the application and stormed out of the office, still with the form in hand. The course she wanted to do? Business Management.)

    Very Testing Testing Methods

    | GA, USA | Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (I work at a disability services office at a college. My coworker brings me the phone, saying a professor is having an issue with an exam.)

    Me: “[My Name], how can I help you?”

    Professor: “Yeah, I need [Student #1] and [Student #2]’s tests.”

    Me: “When were these tests administered?”

    Professor: “Tuesday.”

    Me: *while looking up the scanned copies of the exams* “How were the completed exams supposed to be delivered back to you?”

    Professor: “Campus mail.”

    Me: “Dr. [Professor], I’m sorry that the exams haven’t reached you yet. They’re in inter-departmental mail, and because of when they were picked up, they should arrive to your office sometime today.”

    Professor: “Well, I need them now. Are you going to bring them to me?”

    Me: “The hard copies are in inter-departmental mail. What I can do is e-mail you the scans of the exams.”

    Professor: “So you still have the exams?”

    Me: “No, sir, they were picked up yesterday morning or the afternoon before. We make scans of the completed tests in case there’s a problem that arises.”

    Professor: “So I can just come pick up the exams since you still have them?”

    Me: “No, sir, they’re in the mail. I can email you scans of the exams, though. What class is this for?”

    Professor: “My one pm class.”

    Me: “What course prefix and number?”

    Professor: “My one pm business class.”

    Me: “So your [prefix] [number] class?”

    Professor: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

    Me: “Okay, the exams have been attached to an email that I am sending… now.”

    Professor: “I don’t have the e-mail yet.”

    Me: “It’ll take a minute or two. The documents aren’t small.”

    Professor: “Okay. Well, what’s your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Professor: “And you’re with [Department]?”

    Me: “I’m with [Office], which [Department] falls under. I’m the tech guru in the office.”

    Professor: “Well, from now on, I’m going to just send you my tests, since you’re the only competent one.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Have a nice day!”

    (I look at my coworker and hang up the phone.)

    Coworker: “You handled that well.”

    Me: “You have no idea how many idiots I had to deal with when I did an internship for [Theme Park]. You learn how to smile, act sweet, and deal with it.”

    Believes Tablets Should Be Stone

    | OH, USA | Field Trip, Parents, Technology

    (I’m on a field trip, at a ski resort. Since the school is based online, I can do tests on the web. While eating lunch, I have my tablet out, and am working on a midterm. A parent comes up and watches for a bit.)

    Parent: “Hey, is that [School Site]?”

    Me: “Uhm, yeah. Working on psychology right now.”

    Parent: “…on a tablet?”

    Me: “Yeah, they’ve made it mobile-friendly. They also have a program to get a tablet, if you have the grades for it.”

    Parent: “That’s weird. We didn’t have all this when I was younger. They should keep everything traditional.”

    (I didn’t know how to reply. She walked away, grumbling about ‘new customs.’)


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