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    Category: Technology

    The Flash Is Late

    | IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Exams/Tests, Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (My high school’s English department has a standing policy that all essays are considered to be turned in on time if they’re given to the teacher before 3:15 pm. The school also has a draconian ban on using any kind of USB drive; the only way to move files between the school computers and your own is on a CD. I have an English essay due today, but since part of it is saved on the school computer, I bring the rest in on a CD intending to print it out in the library before class. When I go to print, I can’t open the file, so I take it to the librarian/tech person.)

    Me: “I’m trying to load an essay, but the CD isn’t working.”

    Librarian: “Here, let me take a look. Huh… it looks like the data was written incorrectly. I can tell there IS something on it, like it tried to copy the file. But you’re right, it can’t be pulled up.”

    (She tries a few more times, but nothing. I’m getting worried, since this is a big essay worth a huge chunk of my grade. By some stroke of luck, the assistant principal happens to come in and picks up on what’s going on.)

    Librarian: *to Assistant Principal* “She’s trying to print an essay, but the file on the CD is inaccessible. I can SEE that it’s here though.”

    Assistant Principal: “There’s no way to get it off the CD?”

    Librarian: “No.” *in a respectably snide reference to the school policy* “If she had put it on a flash drive, it wouldn’t have been a problem.”

    (I end up explaining why I had to bring it into the school and that my laptop isn’t the most reliable, and taking responsibility for waiting until the last minute. Surprisingly, they both take my side and we agree that, because of the policy of accepting essays until after the end of the school day, I can call my mother to bring in my laptop with the essay on it so they can use the faculty email system to transfer it and as proof that I did in fact have the essay done on time. The assistant principal even volunteers to talk to my English teacher, whom the students know to be strict and have an attitude. I soon get to my English class…)

    English Teacher: “Where is your essay?”

    Me: “Well, I tried—”

    English Teacher: “You don’t have it done?! You know this is worth 20% of your grade in this class! I don’t know how people even get into an honors class when they don’t do their work!”

    Me: “I brought it in on a CD, but the CD didn’t work. [Librarian] said she could see that there was data on it, but the computer couldn’t read it.”

    (As I’m trying to explain, with her rolling her eyes at me and obviously thinking I’m just making excuses, the assistant principal comes to speak with her. The teacher doesn’t say anything more. Later, I’m called out of another class to get my laptop. The assistant principal tells me to take it to show the English teacher the finished essay. Since her current class is doing speeches, I politely wait until the speaker is done before entering.)

    English Teacher: *seeing me walk in* “What do you want? I’m in the middle of a class!”

    Me: “I wanted to prove that I had my essay done on time, so I don’t get penalized. I have my laptop here with the second part of the essay finished. The first part is on the school computer.”

    English Teacher: “It’s not my problem if you can’t get your work in on time!”

    Me: “Look, I know Mr. [Assistant Principal] told you what happened—”

    English Teacher: “I don’t want to hear it. Get out!”

    (Irate at the dismissal and fed up with the whole situation, I hold her glare for a few seconds, then look around at the shocked students and finally walk out and go back to the front office.)

    Mother: “Well, is it all taken care of?”

    Me: “Nope. She kicked me out of her classroom.”

    Mother: “Figures.”

    Office Worker: “Is this Mrs. [English teacher]? Yeah, I had her when I was a student here. She can be difficult.”

    Me: “No kidding…”

    (I printed the essay out right after school, before the deadline, but I had to just leave it on her desk since she wasn’t there. Needless to say, I got it back with a massive F and the word “LATE!” obnoxiously written all over it. I barely scraped by with a C in the class, and, though no one ever said anything to me directly, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t entirely a coincidence that the school changed their policy the next year to let students use flash drives.)

    Age Against The Machine

    | MI, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Teachers, Technology

    (A student approaches our teacher before class.)

    Student: “You know these vents? Well, I dropped my iPod, and it fell through. I’m waiting for maintenance to help me get it back, so I might be late for class.”

    Teacher: “This is a sign.”

    Student: “What?”

    Teacher: “This is a sign you should not have an iPod.”

    (A half hour later, the teacher interrupts his lecture to address the student.)

    Teacher: “Did you get your iPod back?”

    Student: “Yes.”

    Teacher: “You realize that’s a sign, right? That iPod was falling towards Hell where it belongs. Where they all belong.”

    Me: “[Teacher], are you all right?”

    Teacher: “Fine. I just like it when technology breaks. I think it’s important for the future of our species that happens.”

    (No wonder the teacher is the only one in my college who has completely banned computers from class!)

    Mouse Is Off The Menu

    | Scotland, UK | Teachers, Technology

    (I’m in English class, and we’re about to watch a DVD. The lecturer has hit play, and gone to an empty desk at the back of the room, leaving the cursor on the play button, meaning the entire menu is still at the bottom of the screen, a peeve of mine.)

    Me: *to friend of mine at the front* “Hey, move the mouse!”

    (He does so, and the menu and cursor both disappear.)

    Lecturer: “How did you do that!?”

    Taking Back Command For The Post

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Teachers, Technology, Top

    (It’s an ordinary day in class. My instructor is lecturing, and most of the students are taking notes, except for one student who keeps playing with his phone.)

    Phone: “Say a command.”

    (Everyone within earshot notices this, but our instructor doesn’t let it get to him. He continues with the lesson.)

    Phone: “Say a command.”

    (Now a few students are starting to get annoyed, and are giving this problem student the stink-eye. He’s still in his own world, unaware of what’s around him, still playing with his phone.)

    Phone: “Say a command.”

    (Another student begins to stand up, presumably to go and confront our troublesome classmate. But our instructor signals for him to sit back down, which he does. Then our instructor quietly walks up to the ignorant student and…)

    Instructor: “F*** OFF! HOW’S THAT FOR A COMMAND?”

    (The student with the phone jumps out of his chair and drops the phone. Its battery and cover fall off, and the instructor quickly snatches up the battery and holds onto it for the rest of class!)

    Only Know Their Internet History

    | Hertfordshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, History, Technology

    Teacher: “So, how do historians know about the past?”

    Class: *various versions of ‘look it up on the internet’*

    Teacher: “Yes, but how does the information get on the internet in the first place?”

    Class: *confused looks*

    Teacher: “People type it in, but where do the people who type it up find out about the past?”

    Child #1: “By talking to old people?”

    Teacher: “Great! They can definitely talk to old people. But the oldest people are only about a hundred years old, and history goes back for thousands of years. So how can we find out about things older than living people?”

    Child #2: “Read a book written in the old days?”

    Teacher: “Excellent! We can read books written in the past to find out about life in the past. How else?”

    Child #3: “Very old computers?”


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