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  • November Theme Of The Month: Horrible Histories!

    Category: Technology

    Unstable Timetable

    Oxford, England, UK | Teachers, Technology

    (I’ve gone to my first ever class test, in my CAD module. The lecturer reads out everyone’s names to see who’s turned up. Then abruptly stops.)

    Me: “Excuse me, you didn’t read my name.”

    Lecturer: “Well, then you shouldn’t be here.”

    Me: “But I was told to come to my regular timetabled slot.”

    Lecturer: “Show me your timetable.”

    Me: “This is when I’ve had my lectures for five weeks.”

    Lecturer: “You don’t talk back to me. Show me your timetable.”

    (I show him the timetable I had printed off in the first week, since the website was full of bugs and I didn’t want to have to search for it between lectures.)

    Lecturer: “No. Show me online.”

    Me: “We don’t have to go through all that. It’ll just show the same thing.”

    Lecturer: “I said show me online!”

    Me: “All right, fine!”

    (I pull up the webpage. As it turns out, I’d been moved to a group that had lectures earlier in the week.)

    Me: “Wait, why didn’t you tell me I was coming at the wrong time?”

    Lecturer: “I posted a list of changes here.”

    (He clicks an obscure tab, searches his name, and clicks a sub menu to show me.)

    Me: “You can’t expect me to randomly read the entire website every day!”

    Lecturer: “It’s not my job to tell you when to come to lectures!”

    Me: “Yes, it IS your job! It’s in the course guide. You’re required to inform students by email about timetable changes!”

    (He let me take the test. Then spent the year being disproportionately nasty about every mistake I made.)

    The Smart(phone) Thing To Do

    | Bavaria, Germany | Staff, Students, Technology

    (One of my classmates is known for being addicted to his smartphone. One day he has to give it to our vice principal for using it on school grounds. After our PE lesson after lunch, he wants to get it, but the secretaries and the principal are gone. So, of course, he tries the janitor. The following happens:)

    Janitor: *opens vice principal’s office and holds up phone* “That one?”

    Classmate: “YES!”

    Janitor: “Well, now you know where it is.” *puts it back and locks the office*

    I Raise A Motion

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre/Silly, Technology

    (The professor is conducting his lecture like normal until all of a sudden, the lights go out.)

    Me: “What the…?!”

    Professor: “Can I get everyone to just raise their hands?”

    (A handful of us comply, and when we do so, the lights come back on.)

    Me: “How the heck does that work?!”

    (The professor then explained that the classroom’s lights worked on motion sensors. Apparently the class (himself included) was too still! I still am amazed at the fact that 20-30 people in a classroom could generate so little inertia that the motion sensors didn’t pick anything up!)

    The Past Doesn’t Quite Click

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Students, Technology

    (It’s about three months into the semester in photography class, and we’re on our second large assignment. We have been working with older film cameras.)

    Teacher: “So, any questions before you head out and shoot?”

    Student: “Uh, what’s the clicky thing on the front of the camera?”

    Me: *face-desk*

    A Micro-Brain

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Students, Technology

    (We are discussing waves in an advanced science class.)

    Teacher: “And another type of wave is a microwave, which is the type that is used to heat your food in a microwave appliance.”

    Student: “No way! There’s radiation cooking the food?”

    Teacher: “Yes. How did you think it got cooked?”

    Student: “The little light-bulb in the inside of the microwave!”