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    Category: Technology

    Very Testing Testing Methods

    | GA, USA | Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (I work at a disability services office at a college. My coworker brings me the phone, saying a professor is having an issue with an exam.)

    Me: “[My Name], how can I help you?”

    Professor: “Yeah, I need [Student #1] and [Student #2]’s tests.”

    Me: “When were these tests administered?”

    Professor: “Tuesday.”

    Me: *while looking up the scanned copies of the exams* “How were the completed exams supposed to be delivered back to you?”

    Professor: “Campus mail.”

    Me: “Dr. [Professor], I’m sorry that the exams haven’t reached you yet. They’re in inter-departmental mail, and because of when they were picked up, they should arrive to your office sometime today.”

    Professor: “Well, I need them now. Are you going to bring them to me?”

    Me: “The hard copies are in inter-departmental mail. What I can do is e-mail you the scans of the exams.”

    Professor: “So you still have the exams?”

    Me: “No, sir, they were picked up yesterday morning or the afternoon before. We make scans of the completed tests in case there’s a problem that arises.”

    Professor: “So I can just come pick up the exams since you still have them?”

    Me: “No, sir, they’re in the mail. I can email you scans of the exams, though. What class is this for?”

    Professor: “My one pm class.”

    Me: “What course prefix and number?”

    Professor: “My one pm business class.”

    Me: “So your [prefix] [number] class?”

    Professor: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

    Me: “Okay, the exams have been attached to an email that I am sending… now.”

    Professor: “I don’t have the e-mail yet.”

    Me: “It’ll take a minute or two. The documents aren’t small.”

    Professor: “Okay. Well, what’s your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Professor: “And you’re with [Department]?”

    Me: “I’m with [Office], which [Department] falls under. I’m the tech guru in the office.”

    Professor: “Well, from now on, I’m going to just send you my tests, since you’re the only competent one.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Have a nice day!”

    (I look at my coworker and hang up the phone.)

    Coworker: “You handled that well.”

    Me: “You have no idea how many idiots I had to deal with when I did an internship for [Theme Park]. You learn how to smile, act sweet, and deal with it.”

    Believes Tablets Should Be Stone

    | OH, USA | Field Trip, Parents, Technology

    (I’m on a field trip, at a ski resort. Since the school is based online, I can do tests on the web. While eating lunch, I have my tablet out, and am working on a midterm. A parent comes up and watches for a bit.)

    Parent: “Hey, is that [School Site]?”

    Me: “Uhm, yeah. Working on psychology right now.”

    Parent: “…on a tablet?”

    Me: “Yeah, they’ve made it mobile-friendly. They also have a program to get a tablet, if you have the grades for it.”

    Parent: “That’s weird. We didn’t have all this when I was younger. They should keep everything traditional.”

    (I didn’t know how to reply. She walked away, grumbling about ‘new customs.’)

    Dialed Home The Message

    | WI, USA | Teachers, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the first day of the classroom portion of driver’s ed. Since the class takes place during the summer, not many people are paying attention. The teacher is going over the class syllabus and is talking about the cell phone policy.)

    Teacher: “I do not want to see ANYONE using their phones during class. You shouldn’t be using your phones while you’re driving, and you shouldn’t be using them when learning about driving. If I see a phone out during class…”

    (The teacher pauses and takes his cell phone, which is a flip phone, out of his pocket. He then throws his phone across the room, where it lands on the floor and breaks in half. This causes multiple students who weren’t paying attention to look at him in disbelief.)

    Student: “Holy s***!”

    Teacher: “Don’t like it? Then don’t take out your phone.”

    (We didn’t have a single issue with cell phone usage!)

    Knows My ABCs But Not ‘E’s

    | The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Students, Technology

    (One of my colleagues is supervising students in a research project. The day she is supposed to train them on how to conduct the study, she falls ill and asks me to take over. During the training, I help the students install the necessary software.)

    Student: “So where do I get those files?”

    Me: “Do you have an Internet connection?”

    Student: “No.”

    Me: “Then take this flash drive and open Explorer, please.”

    Student: “Explorer… Er… Internet?”

    Me: “No, Windows Explorer.”

    Student: *now puzzled* “What…?”

    Me: “Just hit Windows key and E.”

    Student: *more and more confused* “What…?”

    (I reach over and hit the appropriate keys. Windows Explorer pops up.)

    Student: “Oh my, that’s just too technical for me!”

    Doesn’t Take The Account Into Account

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Staff, Technology

    (I am graduating in less than a week when someone from my university’s advising office e-mails me, and I e-mail her back with a question. Our e-mail system is set up in such a way that students can choose to have their university messages routed through their personal e-mail addresses. The only problem is that when the student replies, their personal address is the one doing the reply. This is how I’ve set up my e-mail for all 3.5 years I’ve been here.)

    Advisor: “No, that’s not necessary. Oh, and by the way, you should set up your e-mail so that it sends from your official university account in the future.”

    Me: “…for the less than five days I have as a student?”

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