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    Category: Students

    Plural Pick Up Lines

    | NY, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (We are reviewing possessives in French class.)

    Teacher: “The possessive depends on whether the noun is singular or plural.”

    Student #1: “Are you… single?”

    Teacher: *facepalm*

    Student #2: “Ooh! Ooh! Are you single? ‘Cause I’m single, and we can be plural together!”

    Teacher: “I. Am. Teaching. A French. Class… NOT A CLASS ON HOW TO PICK UP WOMEN!”

    Student #2: “Are you an angel? Because I’m allergic to feathers…”

    Teacher: “That’s not even how it goes…”

    Student #3: “[Student #2], it’s supposed be ‘did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?'” Mine is; ‘did you fall from a B14? ‘Cause you’re a bomb!'”

    Will End Up Working Vice

    | Sweden | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (We’re in English class and discussing what careers we want in the future. One of my classmates is rather bad at English, so she usually ends up saying something completely different than was intended.)

    Classmate: “I wanna be a prostitute!”

    (The entire class falls silent.)

    Me: “Do you mean a prosecutor?”

    Classmate: “No, a prostitute! I wanna prostitute people!”

    Me: “… I’m FAIRLY certain you mean a prosecutor who prosecutes people.”

    Classmate: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, a prosecutor works with cops and knows a lot about the law. The prostitute is paid to have sex with people.”

    Classmate: “Oh. Then, yeah, I wanna be a prosecutor.”

    (The entire class lets out a sigh of relief.)

    Classmate: *under her breath* “But the other option sounds pretty fun, too…”

    A Hole New Way Of Spelling

    , | Jeffco, CO, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (A six-year-old girl comes up to the playground teacher.)

    Girl: “That boy called me a bad name!”

    Teacher: “What did he call you?”

    Girl: “He called me the S-word!”

    (The teacher and I look at each other a moment.)

    Teacher: “What’s the S-word?”

    Girl: “I can’t say it. It’s too bad!”

    Teacher: “Whisper to me then.”

    (Girl stands tippy-toe and whispers in Teacher’s ear, then trots away. Teacher turns to me with an odd look on her face.)

    Me: “What was the word?”

    Teacher: “S-hole!”

    The Philosophy Of Photography

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

    (I’m in creative photography class. My teacher puts up a photograph taken by a famous photographer.)

    Teacher: “All right, who took this photo? He’s famous!”

    Classmate: “Aristotle?”

    This Ninja Is Crackers

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Students

    (I teach Spanish at a high school. Today, we’re discussing foods:)

    Me: *in Spanish* “What do you eat for lunch?”

    Student: *in Spanish* “I eat crackers in the library.”

    (I am new to this school and not yet familiar with all of the school’s policies, but it seems a bit odd to me that students would be allowed to eat in a library. I decide to ask:)

    Me: “They let you eat in the library here?”

    Student: “No, but I’m a ninja.”


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