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    Category: Students

    Should Have Shut Up At ‘Shut Up’

    | South Korea | Language & Words, Students

    (I teach English in Korea and sometimes the students use words they’ve heard outside of class. One student is talking and won’t be quiet.)

    Student #1: *to talking student* “Shut up!”

    (I look at him, and he realizes he was rude.)

    Student #1: *to same student* “Shut your mouth!”

    Me: “‘Shut up,’ ‘shut your mouth,’ and ‘be quiet’ all mean to stop talking, but ‘be quiet’ is nice. You don’t want to be rude.”

    (Inspired by things one shouldn’t do, a student in the back of the class suddenly stands up, two middle fingers blasted towards the ceiling.)

    Standing Student: “And teacher, NO F******!”

    (I wanted to laugh but instead told him that he was right, the gesture and the word were not something to say to parents, teachers, and most other people!)

    Three Is A Magically Stupid Number

    | Santiago, Chile | Extra Stupid, Students

    (I’m teaching Introduction to Computer Science for first year engineering students.)

    Me: “As this is the first test, you may answer in pairs. Let me be clear, this means two and no more than two students. Are we clear?”

    Class: “…”

    Me: “I’m assuming that as future engineers you can count up to two.”

    Class: *laughter*

    (As I was grading the test, there was an answer sheet with three names. This happens every year without fault.)

    Agents Of Shakespeare

    | Canada | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV, Students

    (We’re watching Much Ado About Nothing in class, the new Joss Whedon version. The teacher pauses it on one scene and asks us who the characters are.)

    Teacher: “And who’s this young lady?”

    Class: “Beatrice.”

    Teacher: “And who is this gentleman?”

    Class: “Leonato.”

    One Kid: “Agent Coulson.”

    Marked For Death

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Students

    (A student takes a marker from another student and hides it under the table.)

    Me: “Put that marker back.”

    Student: “I don’t have it.”

    Me: “I saw you take it.”

    Student: “No, you didn’t.”

    Me: “Yes, I did. I’m a teacher. We see everything.”

    Student: “Well, can you see death?”

    Me: “Yes. And yours is coming very soon if you don’t give me that marker.”

    (The student quickly handed back the marker.)

    Missed A Few Breadcrumbs Of Knowledge

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Students

    English Teacher: *on analogies* “…Okay, so this answer would be ‘bagels: bread’ because, that’s what they’re composed of. See?”

    Student: “Wait a second… BAGELS ARE MADE OUT OF BREAD?!”


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