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    Category: Students

    He’s Almost Dead

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

    (My teacher was just going over a lab he did in college that shows how the heart is not dependent on the brain.)

    Student: “Wait. So if you’re brain-dead, your heart will still beat?”

    Teacher: “Yes, that’s what the experiment was all about.”

    Me: “If you were brain-dead AND your heart wasn’t beating, then wouldn’t you just be regular dead.”

    Student: “Oh, yeah…”

    Going To Have Kittens About This

    | Denmark | Pets & Animals, Students

    (In biology class we are discussing genetics.)

    Teacher: “If you have a brown dog and a white dog, what color puppies will you most likely get?”

    Classmate: “Well, you would certainly not get kittens”

    The Excuse You Never See Coming

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Excuses, Students

    (We are about halfway through the semester in our prerequisite English class. The class is four hours long, and has been going on for about an hour and a half.)

    Student: *walks in and sits down as if nothing is wrong*

    Teacher: *stops lecturing and stares at him a moment* “[Student]! Why are you so late?”

    Student: *looks up from where he was organizing his book and notepad with a solemn expression* “Ninjas.”

    Teacher: *shocked into silence*

    Try Again, Sunshine

    | UK | Sports, Students

    (I am in a PE class. It is a school where most of the students like playing soccer and there are a few that don’t – including myself. The teacher assumes most of us know what to do but still shows demonstrations.)

    PE Teacher: “Okay, [Student], do a solar run.”

    (Student #1 ran down the field staring at the sky and having the position of a solar panel with his arms stretched out and his head face up. When he came back we were still laughing and he didn’t understand why!)

    Not Quite The Curse Of The Irish

    | Ireland | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (I teach Irish in secondary school. This happens in class, when I call on a male student.)

    Me: “Okay, can you translate this sentence? Bhí ar na daltaí dul amach. Remember, ‘bhí orm’ means ‘I have to’.”

    Student: “Er… I had everyone?”

    (Laughter.)

    Student: “Wow, that came out wrong!”

    Me: “Rothar an bhaile, nach ea?”

    (Thank god they didn’t realise that I just called him the town bicycle!)


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