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    Category: Students

    A Concentration Of Translation

    | Los Angeles CA, USA | Language & Words, Students

    (Being LA, there is a lot of variety in our class. There are two Korean students, and they are sitting beside their Hispanic friends.)

    Korean #1: *in Spanish* “I’ll be right back. Can you watch my stuff?”

    Korean #2: *in Korean* “Dude, don’t speak Spanish in an English class.”

    (I heard this and turned around.)

    Me: “Wait, did you just tell him not to speak Spanish in an English class, in Korean?”

    Korean #2: “Yeah, why?”

    Me: “That’s awesome.”

    This Quiz Is BLEEP-ing Hard

    | PA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Language & Words, Math & Science, Rude & Risque, Students

    (I am in seventh grade. The science teacher has put on a video quiz for us to watch.)

    Video Announcer: “When you hear the BLEEP, fill in the word that belongs in the missing sentence. Question one: Force equals mass times BLEEP.”

    (The BLEEP is the same sound effect used to censor curse words on television. Everyone laughs.)

    Science Teacher: “What’s so funny?”

    Student: “They use that sound to—”

    Science Teacher: “Never mind.”

    (After about seven more questions, we’re still laughing.)

    Science Teacher: “Okay, guys. It was funny the first 500 times.”

    Their Deduction Skills Are On The Wayne

    | Manchester, England, UK | Geeks Rule, Math & Science, Students

    (My job involves either having classes of children visit me in my lab at the nearby college, or visiting schools to deliver science lessons. I’m just about to start clearing away after a practical at a school I’m visiting.)

    Boy: “Mr. [My Name], can we take these home?”

    Me: “Sorry. I’ve got to get these back to my lab so I can clean them.”

    Boy: “You have a lab?”

    Me: “Yup. Where did you think all this apparatus came from?”

    Boy: *gasps* “Are you Batman?!”

    Chalk It Up To Inexperience

    | Australia | Bizarre/Silly, Food & Drink, Students

    (I am a teacher, and am a few minutes late to class. I am walking in.)

    Students: “Morning, [My Name].”

    (They are clearly eating something. Upon closer inspection I realize that they all have a piece of white chalk in their hands and are busy munching on them.)

    Me: *very shocked* “WHAT do you think you’re doing?! Are you seriously eating CHALK?!”

    (They continue eating, but one of them pipes up.)

    Student: “It’s okay. The box says ‘toxic free’.”

    (I had a VERY hard time convincing them they shouldn’t eat the chalk.)

    Mid-Level-Five

    | USA | Exams/Tests, Students

    (I am sitting at lunch with a friend. He is explaining to me how he didn’t know the answer to a question so he just BSed an answer, meanwhile looking up on the internet for the correct answer.)

    Friend: “What do you know? I got it correct!”

    Me: “High-five!”

    (We high-five.)

    Friend: “No, wait. Maybe not.”

    Me: “I guess I high-fived you too early.”

    (We do a reverse high-five.)

    Friend: “It looks like I got it right except one important fact. Half credit.”

    (We proceed to high-five but with only three fingers up each.)


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