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    Category: Students

    Get Hack To Work

    | MA, USA | Lazy/Unhelpful, Students, Technology

    (I am in a Java class, where I am a bored over-achiever and the person sitting next to me basically needs me to teach them everything. I have finished the weekly project early, so I open up a hacking type videogame for fun. I proceed to hack into a bank, and find the accounts in it, then proceed to hack into each account separately and transferred the money out into my game account, then delete all proof of my actions before the trace completes. Gaming need satisfied, I shut the game down and am about to start daydreaming, when I notice the guy next to me looking at my screen with big white eyes.)

    Guy: “Did you just…” *too scared to say more out loud*

    Me: *couldn’t help but smirk because it is funny*

    (The guy proceeded to be very very careful around me and began studying Java seriously for the rest of the semester. Heh, go gaming.)

    Stereotype Gripe

    | Virginia Beach, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Language & Words, Students

    (I am in chemistry lab and working on a delicate procedure that requires a high degree of accuracy, otherwise the experiment will be wrong. It should be noted as relevant that I am Chinese, my friend is Bangladeshi, and Lab Partner is a very insensitive white guy.)

    Friend: “Hey, [Lab Partner], can you hand me a paper towel?”

    Lab Partner: “Sure! Paper towel!” *sees me* “Hah, Chinese way of life, right? Pa pa tao! Pa pa tao!” *starts talking nonsense in a Chinese accent*

    Me: *trying very hard not to react* “Aw, d*** it. I messed up.”

    (My friend looks over and sees my work is WAY off.)

    Friend: *hurriedly* “Dude, shut up. Shut up. It’s not funny!”

    Lab Partner: “Naw, man, it’s hilarious! Pa pa tao! Pa pa tao!”

    Teacher: *having heard conversation and come over* “Since she’s too nice to say it, pa pa tao probably means you’re getting 10 points docked off your lab grade for violating [Community College]’s rules of conduct which clearly state you’re to treat your classmate with respect at all times.”

    Lab Partner: “What! That’s not fair. I WAS funny!”

    Teacher: “Is [My Name] laughing? No. No, she’s not, because you’re not a comedian and if you keep your performance in this class up you won’t be much of a chemist either.”

    (I mouthed thank you to my professor, who gave me a wink. He was awesome.)

    That Number One Feeling

    | Switzerland | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Students

    Math Teacher: “And now what’s the solution?”

    Student: One.”

    Teacher: “Good! And why?”

    Student: “I feel that.”

    Deathproof

    | TX, USA | Exams/Tests, Students

    (We are taking our final exam. At this point, I have been awake for exactly 32 hours. A few minutes into it, the professor makes her way to the front and starts writing on the board.)

    Professor: *writing* “Give me proofreading or give me death!”

    Me: “Not too sure about the first part, but I can do that last part.”

    Incontinent About The Asian Continent

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Students

    (In eighth grade, I take a cooking elective that involves partnering up with two or three other kids in the class. I’m Chinese, and rather obviously so, with an unambiguously Chinese last name and Asian features.)

    Partner: “So, [My Name], are you Asian or Chinese?”

    Me: “…I’m both. China’s in Asia.”

    Partner: “Really?”

    (I had to actually get out an atlas and show her that China was in Asia.)


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