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    Category: Students

    Winter Can Give You A Good Licking

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

    (Before Christmas break we show our students ‘A Christmas Story’ in an assembly. After we get back, it’s extremely cold outside and a teacher walks up to me, stifling laughter.)

    Teacher: “Err… [My Name]?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Teacher: “I think you may need to call indoor recess for the rest of the week.”

    Me: “What’s happening?”

    Teacher: “Well… look out this window.”

    (I look outside and see at least four or five kids who’re stuck to the fences, tether-ball poles, and metal basketball hoops, while several more adults are walking out with water bottles. I realize exactly what had happened.)

    Me: “You know… it’s a good thing none of them got Red Rider B.B. guns for Christmas, or we’ll be dealing with shot-out-eyes.”

    (We had indoor recess for the rest of the week, as I announced to everyone NOT to lick flagpoles or metal, even if someone triple-dog dared them.)

    The ‘Need’ Of The Many

    | NJ, USA | Exams/Tests, Homework, Ignoring/Inattentive, Students

    (Going to school for computer programming – the second-to-last group to have the course as it is before being revamped to all-web-based programming – we have a succession of teachers for each programming language. The final course is Java, and while the teacher is nice and actually helpful, his instructions are lacking. It is during the two weeks we have to finish our final project, where the two current classes have been merged into the larger lab, and the teacher’s not in the room at the moment.)

    Me: “UGH, how are we supposed to do all this?!”

    Other Group: “What do you mean?”

    Classmate: “How are we supposed to set up 30 programs in two weeks?! The first batch are easy but the rest are taking two to three days each!”

    Other Group: “You don’t need to do all 30!”

    Us: “WHAT!?”

    (We get the FULL instructions from the other group. When the teacher comes back, he gets bombarded.)

    Me: “Why didn’t you tell us we only needed to do [the number from each section]?!”

    Teacher: “I did!”

    Classmate: “No, you didn’t!”

    Classmate #2: “I even asked you last week how we were supposed to get ALL THIRTY done!”

    Teacher: “The cover sheet for the packet had the full instructions!”

    Us: “WHAT COVER SHEET?!”

    (Turned out he gave Class #2 the cover sheet, which said how many programs from each section to do and how much of each section to work, as well as the fact that it counted as 50% of the entire course’s grade, but neither gave us that copy nor said anything… And we didn’t learn this until there was about three days left. Nobody was given extensions, nor extra credit for the extra work already done. It was a miracle several of us were able to rush through what we ‘needed’ to do!)

    That Final Project Opened Some Doors For You

    | AB, Canada | History, Students, Technology

    (I’m studying radio broadcasting at a tech college, and one day we have a special guest speaker. This speaker is an alumni of the program and has gone on to become one of the most prominent station managers in our city. After his talk, he turns to leave our classroom, and trips over something. He stops, looks down, and grows wistful.)

    Professor: “Hey, [Station Manager], is everything okay?”

    Station Manager: “Yeah, fine. It’s just this 8-track tape you’re using for a doorstop. I recognize the label. It was my final project 20 years ago.” *sigh* “All that work…”

    Hope The Calculator Has A Panic Button

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Math & Science, Students

    (I am sitting in my algebra class.)

    Professor: *after writing a complicated problem on the board* “What do we do next?”

    Student Behind Me: “Panic.”

    Can’t Engineer A Solution

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Sports, Staff, Students

    (I am going through my incoming orientation at my new college. They have grouped us by year and major so everyone in my group is transferring in as third year computer engineers. Our orientation guide is showing us the various buildings around campus.)

    Orientation Guide: “And here we have our campus’ athletic center. This is where all of our sports teams meet and train. Are any of you planning on joining one of our teams?”

    Our Group: *silence*

    Orientation Guide: “Come on, aren’t there any athletes here?”

    Our Group: *more silence*

    Orientation Guide: “No one wants to play football or wrestle?”

    Me: “We’re engineering majors.”


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