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    Category: Staff

    Very Testing Testing Methods

    | GA, USA | Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (I work at a disability services office at a college. My coworker brings me the phone, saying a professor is having an issue with an exam.)

    Me: “[My Name], how can I help you?”

    Professor: “Yeah, I need [Student #1] and [Student #2]’s tests.”

    Me: “When were these tests administered?”

    Professor: “Tuesday.”

    Me: *while looking up the scanned copies of the exams* “How were the completed exams supposed to be delivered back to you?”

    Professor: “Campus mail.”

    Me: “Dr. [Professor], I’m sorry that the exams haven’t reached you yet. They’re in inter-departmental mail, and because of when they were picked up, they should arrive to your office sometime today.”

    Professor: “Well, I need them now. Are you going to bring them to me?”

    Me: “The hard copies are in inter-departmental mail. What I can do is e-mail you the scans of the exams.”

    Professor: “So you still have the exams?”

    Me: “No, sir, they were picked up yesterday morning or the afternoon before. We make scans of the completed tests in case there’s a problem that arises.”

    Professor: “So I can just come pick up the exams since you still have them?”

    Me: “No, sir, they’re in the mail. I can email you scans of the exams, though. What class is this for?”

    Professor: “My one pm class.”

    Me: “What course prefix and number?”

    Professor: “My one pm business class.”

    Me: “So your [prefix] [number] class?”

    Professor: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

    Me: “Okay, the exams have been attached to an email that I am sending… now.”

    Professor: “I don’t have the e-mail yet.”

    Me: “It’ll take a minute or two. The documents aren’t small.”

    Professor: “Okay. Well, what’s your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Professor: “And you’re with [Department]?”

    Me: “I’m with [Office], which [Department] falls under. I’m the tech guru in the office.”

    Professor: “Well, from now on, I’m going to just send you my tests, since you’re the only competent one.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Have a nice day!”

    (I look at my coworker and hang up the phone.)

    Coworker: “You handled that well.”

    Me: “You have no idea how many idiots I had to deal with when I did an internship for [Theme Park]. You learn how to smile, act sweet, and deal with it.”

    What Came First, The Chicken Or The Joke?

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Staff, Transportation

    (I have a bit of a reputation for telling bad jokes. As I’m sitting on the bus, the driver and I notice a chicken crossing the road.)

    Bus Driver: “Don’t you dare say it!”

    Me: “Aww…”

    Doesn’t Take The Account Into Account

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Staff, Technology

    (I am graduating in less than a week when someone from my university’s advising office e-mails me, and I e-mail her back with a question. Our e-mail system is set up in such a way that students can choose to have their university messages routed through their personal e-mail addresses. The only problem is that when the student replies, their personal address is the one doing the reply. This is how I’ve set up my e-mail for all 3.5 years I’ve been here.)

    Advisor: “No, that’s not necessary. Oh, and by the way, you should set up your e-mail so that it sends from your official university account in the future.”

    Me: “…for the less than five days I have as a student?”

    Keep A Stiff Upper Lip About It

    | Dickson, TN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Staff, Students

    (I’m listening to the school’s morning announcements. This is right before school starts.)

    Principal: “Now, we’ve had a lot of people abusing the nursing station. Chapstick is NOT an emergency!”

    Answering About A Whole Different Animal

    | Coloma, MI, USA | Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Staff

    (My daughter is taking her kindergarten readiness test.)

    Tester: “Tell me the name of all the animals you know.”

    Daughter: “I have a dog and his name is Hunter. My uncle has a dog and his name is Duster. My aunt has a cat and her name is Butterscotch. My grandma has a dog and his name is Rufus. My neighbor has a cat, but I don’t know his name.”

    (I glanced over at the tester’s sheet of paper. Under names of animals she wrote ‘cat, dog.’)

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