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    Category: Staff

    The Agent Hasn’t Found Their Calling

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Staff

    (In the admissions office we frequently deal with recruitment agents who act as representatives for students, handling everything on the student’s behalf. The agents often phone in with one problem or another.)

    Agent: “One of my students has been trying to make a payment but he keeps getting an error message.”

    Me: “Okay, which payment method is he using?”

    Agent: “He’s doing it by phone.”

    Me: “He’s getting an error message… by phone?”

    Agent: “Sorry?”

    Me: “Wait, is he paying online?”

    Agent: “Online, yes.”

    Me: “Ok, well if he’s getting an error message online and he’s due to enroll this month, it might be easier if he phones our finance office and they can just take the payment over the phone.”

    Agent: “That’s what he’s trying to do.”

    Me: “He is?”

    Agent: “Yes, but he keeps getting an error message.”

    Me: “Someone is giving him an error message over the phone?”

    Agent: “Yes.”

    Me: “Do you know who he’s been speaking to?”

    Agent: “No one.”

    Me: “He’s not paying by phone?”

    Agent: “By phone, yes.”

    Me: “If he’s paying by phone then he must be speaking to someone. We don’t have an automated phone system.”

    Agent: “Sorry?”

    Me: “Do you know what number he called?”

    Agent: “I’ll check.” *rustling and clattering for a few seconds* “It’s some sort of phone number, I think. Yes.”

    Me: “Can you read me the number please?”

    Agent: “It’s some sort of number.”

    Me: “Are you sure he’s paying by phone–”

    Agent: “By phone, yes.”

    Me: “—and not online?”

    Agent: “Online, yes.”

    (This continued for some time until we both gave up.)

    Doesn’t Acknowledge Your Seniority

    | NJ, USA | Staff, Students

    (It is a day where a lot of high school juniors visit the college campus. I am walking past a table staffed by an admissions counselor when he stops me.)

    Counselor: “Excuse me, miss, would you like some information about admission to [College]?”

    Me: “Uh… no, thank you.”

    Counselor: “You know this is good stuff to have. Application time will be here before you know it!”

    Me: “I’m a senior.”

    Counselor: “Even so, you could always—”

    Me: “At this college.”

    (He stares at me for a solid minute.)

    Counselor: “Oh. Uh… have a nice day.”

    Missing Evidence

    | England, UK | Exams/Tests, Staff

    (I’m an apprentice at this time, trying to balance working, learning, and a family life. Despite this, projects and assignments are often scheduled on ‘work days’ so I have to drop off work to the reception on my lunch.)

    Me: “Hi, can I drop this off for lecturer [Name]?”

    Reception: “Sure, I will put it in his pigeon hole.”

    Me: “Oh, can you sign this please?”

    Reception: “What is it?”

    Me: “Just a simple confirmation of submission. If it goes missing I have evidence that I did hand it in.”

    Reception: *insulted* “Look the pigeon holes are there. I very much doubt that it will get lost from my desk to there!”

    Me: “No offence meant, but that is what happened last time.”

    (She begrudgingly signs the form. I leave, happy that my work is in on time and I get back to work. I get to class the next week.)

    Lecturer: “Well, a lot of you did very well on your assignments, some however never submitted them.” *he begins to return the assignments, but doesn’t hand back mine*

    Me: “Where’s mine?”

    Lecturer: “You didn’t hand it in.”

    Me: “Yes, I did!”

    Lecturer: “It’s no good making up excuses.”

    (I thrust the paperwork at him.)

    Lecturer: “Oh, okay. One moment, please.”

    (He rushes off leaving the class, to return moments later.)

    Me: “So?”

    Lecturer: “The bloody reception just left it on her desk under a pile of papers. I will mark it now.”

    (Despite it not being my best work I got a great grading. The same thing kept happening despite complaints. It became a running task when projects were due to ask as we entered the class, followed by the lecturer rushing down to reception.)

    An Application Of Stupidity

    , | UK | Extra Stupid, Staff, Students, Technology

    (I work for the admissions office at my college. One day, a girl comes in screaming that she had never heard anything from us regarding her application.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ll check our system and see what’s happening to your application.”

    Angry Girl: “Yeah, you better, and I want a discount on my course since you’ve put me through all this trouble.”

    Me: “Well, looking at the system we have no record about your application. Can you tell me when you applied and for what course?”

    Angry Girl: *pulls application form out of her purse and tells me the info*

    Me: “Excuse me, but you actually have to hand in the application for us to process onto the system. If you’ve had it in your purse we would not know you wanted to apply.”

    Angry Girl: “WHAT?!”

    Me: “Well, if you complete an application but leave in in your bag, how are we to know you want to apply? We need you to actually give the form to us so we can process it. So, it looks like the reason you never heard from us is because you never actually sent in your form.”

    Angry Girl: “That’s not good enough! You should KNOW that I wanted to apply!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but like I said, if you don’t send in your form we would have no way of knowing you wanted to apply. However, I’ll take your form now and process it straight away.”

    (I tried to take the form off the girl. She refused to let go of the application and stormed out of the office, still with the form in hand. The course she wanted to do? Business Management.)

    Very Testing Testing Methods

    | GA, USA | Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (I work at a disability services office at a college. My coworker brings me the phone, saying a professor is having an issue with an exam.)

    Me: “[My Name], how can I help you?”

    Professor: “Yeah, I need [Student #1] and [Student #2]’s tests.”

    Me: “When were these tests administered?”

    Professor: “Tuesday.”

    Me: *while looking up the scanned copies of the exams* “How were the completed exams supposed to be delivered back to you?”

    Professor: “Campus mail.”

    Me: “Dr. [Professor], I’m sorry that the exams haven’t reached you yet. They’re in inter-departmental mail, and because of when they were picked up, they should arrive to your office sometime today.”

    Professor: “Well, I need them now. Are you going to bring them to me?”

    Me: “The hard copies are in inter-departmental mail. What I can do is e-mail you the scans of the exams.”

    Professor: “So you still have the exams?”

    Me: “No, sir, they were picked up yesterday morning or the afternoon before. We make scans of the completed tests in case there’s a problem that arises.”

    Professor: “So I can just come pick up the exams since you still have them?”

    Me: “No, sir, they’re in the mail. I can email you scans of the exams, though. What class is this for?”

    Professor: “My one pm class.”

    Me: “What course prefix and number?”

    Professor: “My one pm business class.”

    Me: “So your [prefix] [number] class?”

    Professor: “Yes, that’s what I said.”

    Me: “Okay, the exams have been attached to an email that I am sending… now.”

    Professor: “I don’t have the e-mail yet.”

    Me: “It’ll take a minute or two. The documents aren’t small.”

    Professor: “Okay. Well, what’s your name?”

    Me: “[My Name].”

    Professor: “And you’re with [Department]?”

    Me: “I’m with [Office], which [Department] falls under. I’m the tech guru in the office.”

    Professor: “Well, from now on, I’m going to just send you my tests, since you’re the only competent one.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Have a nice day!”

    (I look at my coworker and hang up the phone.)

    Coworker: “You handled that well.”

    Me: “You have no idea how many idiots I had to deal with when I did an internship for [Theme Park]. You learn how to smile, act sweet, and deal with it.”

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