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    Category: Staff

    Making A Bad Compression Impression

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (I work for the help desk at a college of education. One part of student teaching has students taping themselves teaching. Our office checks out iPad Minis for students. We require an instructor to sign off for them just so we have someone connected to the university to call if someone doesn’t return a checked out item. Most practicum professors understand that students can only reasonably hand in 8-10 minutes of video to make it fit on the online portfolio and have decent quality. The ones that don’t are sadly in charge of student teachers.)

    Boss #1: “Hey, [My Name], I have a student out here that says someone came up here and told us that they didn’t need an instructor sign off to student teachers.”

    Me: “I haven’t heard anything.”

    (I go over to check on what’s happening.)

    Student: “They told us at orientation that everyone in this office had been told that student teachers would be coming and we didn’t need our supervisors to sign for us.”

    Boss #1: “I don’t ever remember agreeing to this.”

    (He checks with the other two bosses and neither of them remember being notified either.)

    Boss #2: “We can sign off for you, I suppose. Just write down who your supervisor is, too.”

    (She takes the iPad and we don’t hear much more about it until the day she’s scheduled to bring it back. She’s nearly in tears.)

    Student: “I can’t get my video to upload.”

    Me: “All right. Let’s take a look.”

    (I realize she’s trying to upload a twenty-five minute video. It’s no surprise that loads halfway and then crashes because the file is far too big.)

    Me: “I’ll try compressing it. It’s going to be very poor quality though.”

    Student: “I was told we weren’t supposed to compress it.”

    Me: “There’s no way they can view this unless it’s under 50 MB.”

    Student: “Just do it. I don’t even care anymore.”

    (She proceeds to call her supervisor and puts her on speaker so I and my three bosses can hear.)

    Student: “Dr. [Supervisor], this is [Student]. I was trying to upload my teaching video to the site but it kept crashing. I went to the tech office and they said that I have to compress the video.”

    Supervisor: “No, no, no. You’re supposed to leave it as is. We gave you directions.”

    Student: “And I’m telling you that didn’t work. I’ve been trying to upload it for hours and it just crashes.”

    Supervisor: “You’re uploading it now? How are you going to get your reflection paper on there? You’re only allowed to upload once.”

    Student: “You’ll have to open it up, because I am not doing this again.”

    Supervisor: “You’ll have to call [Professor]; she knows this better than I do.”

    (The student does so and re-explains the situation.)

    Professor: “Go to the tech office. They can help you.”

    Student: “I told you, I’m calling from the tech office.”

    (At this point, Boss #3, who is new and a bit of a pushover, asks for the phone.)

    Boss #3: “[Professor], this is [Boss #3], just downstairs. I would like you to walk down one flight of stairs and down to this office and explain how you conveniently forgot to notify us how fifty plus student would be needing iPads and how you gave every one of them faulty directions.”

    Professor: “I gave them the right directions.”

    Boss #3: “No, you told them to tape entire lessons and load them up without trying to lower the file size. We’re going to have panicking students in this office because you couldn’t take the five minutes to check with us on the proper procedure. I also understand that they can only submit items in once.”

    Professor: “Yes, to keep them from changing things.”

    Boss #3: “I see. So they have to submit a video on an iPad and a paper on a computer magically at the same time.”

    Professor: *silence*

    (In the end, the student managed to get her video up and they changed the amount of submissions each student could put up. All of us agreed not to check out iPads next semester until every professor and supervisor made a video and uploaded it themselves to see what they made their students go through.)

    Unable To Classify Disabled

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Staff

    (I’m in a session with my therapist at the school. I have high-functioning autism.)

    Me: “So, I found certain scholarships that apply to students with disabilities.”

    Therapist: “I wouldn’t say you’re disabled; more like, you find some things hard.”

    Me: “Would you say that to a kid in a wheelchair?”

    Therapist: “Well, I would say you have a walking disability.”

    Me: “But I don’t have a mental disability?”

    (She changed the subject after that.)

    Should I Stay Or Should I Go Or Stay Or Go Or…

    | Bnei Brak, Israel | Bizarre/Silly, Staff

    (Due to a series of unprecedented traffic jams, terrible bad luck, and general mishaps, I have arrive two and a half hours late for a three-and-a-half-hour class, exhausted, sweating, and dehydrated. My computer, MP3 player, and GPS are drained, but not as drained as I am. I stagger into the building and basically collapse in the hallway outside the bathroom. I decide there’s no point in entering the class so late, so I plug my electronics into the wall so I can use them on the bus ride home. While resting to regain my strength and sanity, the building’s security guard passes by me, heading for the bathroom. He does a double-take.)

    Guard: “What are you doing here?”

    Me: “I got stuck in traffic for two hours and I’m exhausted. It’s too late to go to class, so I’m resting a bit before I go back home.”

    Guard: “What you’re doing is not okay. You can’t come in here and start living in the back hallways.”

    Me: “Oooo…kay. Do you want me to go upstairs to where the classes are?”

    Guard: “No, it’s okay. You can stay here.”

    Me: “So there’s no problem?”

    Guard: “Of course there’s a problem. You can’t be here.”

    Me: “So do you want me to leave?”

    Guard: “No, there’s no problem.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. What do you want me to do?”

    Guard: “Nothing, but you can’t stay here.”

    Me: “So I’ll leave.”

    Guard: “No, you’re not doing anything wrong.”

    Me: “What do you want from me?!”

    Guard: “You can’t stay here.”

    Me: “I’m not staying here! I’m just resting for a bit!”

    Guard: “But you can’t stay here.”

    Me: “So I’ll leave!”

    Guard: “You don’t have to leave.”

    (At this point my strength, patience, and sanity give out and I just decide not to answer the lunatic. He gives up and goes into the bathroom. When he comes out…)

    Guard: “You can’t stay here.”

    (And we go through the entire thing again. To this day I wonder if he wasn’t some sort of dehydration-induced hallucination.)

    Self-Certified Stupidity

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Staff

    (My friend organized an event and was asking her university for credits.)

    Friend: “Dear [University], I organized, planned, secured funding for, and hosted a major international conference and I would like to received personal development credits.”

    University: “To get ‘personal development credits’ you need a certificate of participation.”

    Friend: “But I organized the entire thing! It would be a certificate from me to me.”

    University: “No certificate, no credit.”

    (So my friend made herself her own certificate, from herself, signed by herself, verifying that she attended her own event. The university was satisfied.)

    A Wobbly Knobbly Knowledge

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Staff, Students

    (I am filling out an order form for artwork for my department. One of the questions involves smoke alarms. I look around and do not notice any noticeable some alarms, although I do note a certain feature in the ceilings.)

    Me: “Hey, [Coworker], is that knobbly thing a smoke alarm?”

    Coworker: “I don’t know. There are two knobbly bits.”

    (We both stare at the ‘knobbly’ fixtures until a student decides to intervene.)

    Student: “Yup, those are smoke alarms. So are these.” *points to more ‘knobbly’ fixtures*

    Me: “Well, I’m glad our students who don’t work here know our systems better than we do…”


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