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  • Firing Up A Passion For Science
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  • Category: Staff

    Soon To Be Lonely And Jobless

    | CA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Rude & Risque, Staff

    (We are in the middle of TA training. We had an exercise where there were various situations that a TA might encounter written on the boards, and everyone had to write how they think it should be handled. Most went smoothly, until…)

    Instructor: “Okay, next one. ‘What do you do if you’re in office hours and a student starts making sexual advances.’ Let’s see… Okay, guys, really? ‘Let them; I’m lonely.’ is NOT the correct answer!”

    Professors Don’t Read

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (I’m an admin at a large university. We’ve recently switched to a new website for online learning, and despite our best efforts, professors seem to ignore every memo on the subject.)

    Professor: “I can’t see any of my courses for next semester online!”

    Me: “Are you looking on the new website, at [new site]?”

    Professor: “Yes. I’m on there grading students right now.”

    (I groan inwardly, knowing that students aren’t on the new site yet.)

    Me: “That’s the old one. Please go to [new site].”

    Professor: “I just told you, I’m already there!”

    Me: “What does your browser show in the address bar?”

    Professor: “[Old site]!”

    Me: “Then you’re on the old site. You have to go to [new site] for future semesters.”

    Professor: “Why wasn’t I told?!”

    Me: “It’s been communicated many times through announcements on [old site].”

    Professor: “Oh, I don’t read those.”

    Me: “There have also been emails to all faculties about it from several different departments.”

    Professor: “You can’t just assume that I pay attention to all my emails! You should have called!”

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 14

    | UK | Books & Reading, Staff, Students

    (I am given the job of taking messages to students all over the school, telling them to see various teachers or return books. The highlight of my day is this:)

    Me: *enters a classroom of 15-year-olds* “Hey, I’ve got a message for [Name #1] and [Name #2]?”

    Student: “Yeah?”

    Me: *reading the message* “Okay. You need to return your Twilight books by Tuesday.”

    (The entire class burst out laughing as I quickly left the room.)

    From Not Always Right:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 13
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 12
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 10
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    Best Not Lose Sleep Over It

    | MD, USA | Staff, Students

    (I am meeting with my adviser the day after I pulled an all-nighter to finish a project.)

    Adviser: “So, your grades seem good. Are you taking care of yourself? Eating and sleeping properly?”

    Me: *tiredly* “As much as I can, yeah.”

    Adviser: “It’s very important to get enough sleep at night. You might not think sleep deprivation affects you, but it can really hurt your grades and even your health…”

    (I’m not sure how long she talked about sleep deprivation. I fell asleep.)

    Magic And More Magic

    | NT, Canada | Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (I am a teacher, but also take care of the school computers as well. After school, I’m in the computer lab with a grade 10 student and another teacher. I’ve been trying for about 30 minutes to figure out what’s wrong with one of the computers.)

    Me: “Don’t know what to say, Mr. [Teacher]. It just doesn’t want to boot.”

    Teacher: “So, re-install Windows, I’m guessing?”

    Me: “Yeah, I’ll start it tomorrow during my prep period. Need to finish marking those exams tonight. Actually, I’m going to try one more thing real quick before I go home.”

    (I stand up, face the computer put both my arms straight out pointing all of my fingers towards the computer, wiggling them slightly.)


    (The computer boots into Windows, and is working perfectly.)

    Student: “What the h*** was that?!”

    Me: “Something I read on Google once….

    (That computer never gave me anymore problems that year. Three years later, I changed professions and became a real IT Tech. Sometimes, when I’m in the back room, I will still try to use the OOOGA BOOGA technique when I’m frustrated with a system. Sometimes it actually works.)

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