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    Category: Staff

    The Flash Is Late

    | IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Exams/Tests, Staff, Teachers, Technology

    (My high school’s English department has a standing policy that all essays are considered to be turned in on time if they’re given to the teacher before 3:15 pm. The school also has a draconian ban on using any kind of USB drive; the only way to move files between the school computers and your own is on a CD. I have an English essay due today, but since part of it is saved on the school computer, I bring the rest in on a CD intending to print it out in the library before class. When I go to print, I can’t open the file, so I take it to the librarian/tech person.)

    Me: “I’m trying to load an essay, but the CD isn’t working.”

    Librarian: “Here, let me take a look. Huh… it looks like the data was written incorrectly. I can tell there IS something on it, like it tried to copy the file. But you’re right, it can’t be pulled up.”

    (She tries a few more times, but nothing. I’m getting worried, since this is a big essay worth a huge chunk of my grade. By some stroke of luck, the assistant principal happens to come in and picks up on what’s going on.)

    Librarian: *to Assistant Principal* “She’s trying to print an essay, but the file on the CD is inaccessible. I can SEE that it’s here though.”

    Assistant Principal: “There’s no way to get it off the CD?”

    Librarian: “No.” *in a respectably snide reference to the school policy* “If she had put it on a flash drive, it wouldn’t have been a problem.”

    (I end up explaining why I had to bring it into the school and that my laptop isn’t the most reliable, and taking responsibility for waiting until the last minute. Surprisingly, they both take my side and we agree that, because of the policy of accepting essays until after the end of the school day, I can call my mother to bring in my laptop with the essay on it so they can use the faculty email system to transfer it and as proof that I did in fact have the essay done on time. The assistant principal even volunteers to talk to my English teacher, whom the students know to be strict and have an attitude. I soon get to my English class…)

    English Teacher: “Where is your essay?”

    Me: “Well, I tried—”

    English Teacher: “You don’t have it done?! You know this is worth 20% of your grade in this class! I don’t know how people even get into an honors class when they don’t do their work!”

    Me: “I brought it in on a CD, but the CD didn’t work. [Librarian] said she could see that there was data on it, but the computer couldn’t read it.”

    (As I’m trying to explain, with her rolling her eyes at me and obviously thinking I’m just making excuses, the assistant principal comes to speak with her. The teacher doesn’t say anything more. Later, I’m called out of another class to get my laptop. The assistant principal tells me to take it to show the English teacher the finished essay. Since her current class is doing speeches, I politely wait until the speaker is done before entering.)

    English Teacher: *seeing me walk in* “What do you want? I’m in the middle of a class!”

    Me: “I wanted to prove that I had my essay done on time, so I don’t get penalized. I have my laptop here with the second part of the essay finished. The first part is on the school computer.”

    English Teacher: “It’s not my problem if you can’t get your work in on time!”

    Me: “Look, I know Mr. [Assistant Principal] told you what happened—”

    English Teacher: “I don’t want to hear it. Get out!”

    (Irate at the dismissal and fed up with the whole situation, I hold her glare for a few seconds, then look around at the shocked students and finally walk out and go back to the front office.)

    Mother: “Well, is it all taken care of?”

    Me: “Nope. She kicked me out of her classroom.”

    Mother: “Figures.”

    Office Worker: “Is this Mrs. [English teacher]? Yeah, I had her when I was a student here. She can be difficult.”

    Me: “No kidding…”

    (I printed the essay out right after school, before the deadline, but I had to just leave it on her desk since she wasn’t there. Needless to say, I got it back with a massive F and the word “LATE!” obnoxiously written all over it. I barely scraped by with a C in the class, and, though no one ever said anything to me directly, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t entirely a coincidence that the school changed their policy the next year to let students use flash drives.)

    Boy, Is She Wrong

    , | Bowling Green, KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Dorms, Staff

    (I work the night shift at the security desk in a dorm on campus. One night, about 1 am, a girl tries to walk past with her boyfriend.)

    Me: “Hey. Sorry, but you can’t bring him up. Check-in hours are over.”

    Resident: “Oh, he lives here.”

    Me: “No… He doesn’t.”

    Resident: “Yeah, he does.”

    Me: “I am positive that he doesn’t.”

    Resident: “I don’t see why you would just assume that.”

    Me: “… This is a girls’ dorm.”

    Resident: “Oh, s***. I forgot!”

    Prosecuting Without Proof Of Proof

    | NJ, USA | Food & Drink, Staff, Teachers

    (I’m studying at a small college campus where everyone knows everyone. I sit down in the cafeteria to eat my lunch and a security guard that I’ve never seen before comes over.)

    Security Guard: “You need to come to the dean’s office.”

    Me: “Why?”

    Security Guard: “You are drinking alcohol, and since this is a dry campus you’re facing serious consequences.”

    (I’m actually drinking a soft drink called Chai Cola that is sold in dark bottles. I laugh, thinking he’s joking, and turn the bottle around to show him the label that says ‘soda’ on it and the cap that clearly states it’s a non alcoholic drink.)

    Me: “Sorry, dude. Better luck next time. Besides, I drink this stuff every week. Go ask [Other Security Guard].”

    (Not backing down, he tries threatening me.)

    Security Guard: “Throw it out or I’m taking you to the dean’s.”

    Me: “I’m not throwing out a $3 soda.”

    (As he’s clearly not going to leave me alone, I quickly gather my lunch and bag and walk quickly to the dean’s office area and sit down at the table outside her office and resume eating. I’ve eaten lunch there a few times before because I prefer the quiet and none of the other staff are bothered by it. The dean peeks her head out of her office, sees me and sighs.)

    Dean: “[Security Guard], huh?”

    Me: *I nod my head*

    (The security guard comes by and the dean makes a ‘come here’ fingering motion. The guard grins at me and follows her in. I guess he thought he was going to be commended and still fully believed I would be in trouble, poor guy. I get to watch him walk out in a huff as I finish my lunch.)

    It’s All Greek To Me, Literally

    | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Books & Reading, Language & Words, Staff, Students

    (I am a text manager for a liberal arts college bookstore on the east coast. A newly-hired philosophy professor places a book order using ISBNs for several philosophy books. We place the order using these ISBNs and then sell the books in the bookstore. It is the first week of classes.)

    Student: “I need to return these books.”

    Me: “No problem. May I ask why you are returning them?”

    Student: “I can’t read Greek.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Student: “The books. They’re written in Greek.”

    Me: “What?!”

    (Sure enough, the covers were in English, but the inside text was in Greek. The entire class came and returned their books, each claiming the Professor blamed the bookstore. I had to e-mail a copy of the signed book order to the department head to prove that it wasn’t a mistake. I later learned that the Professor thought the students would enjoy learning Greek philosophy in the original language!)

    Weeding Out The Troublemakers

    | KA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Staff

    (I work as a middle school custodian in a small town in Kansas. I get a call from security.)

    Security: “Can someone go check the boy’s bathroom in [location]? Someone moved a ceiling tile and a bag of weed just fell on a teachers head.”


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