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    Category: Rude & Risque

    Blonde And Curly

    | IL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (I teach high school science. I am going over a lesson in genetics, involving the principle of incomplete dominance, such as how one parent with a dominant straight hair gene and one with a dominant curly hair gene can have an offspring with a blended trait of wavy hair.)

    Female Student: “Oh, my gosh, Mr. [My Name]! My hair is so curly! Seriously, you should see me when I get out of the shower!”

    Me: “…I don’t want to.”

    Female Student: “NO! NO! That’s not what I meant. Oh, my gosh… I mean you should see me when I get up in the morning!”

    Me: “I don’t want to see that either!”

    Female Student: “NO! NO! Aaaahhh!”

    (Ironically, she was the best student in the class, albeit a blonde!)

    Really Feeling This ‘Learning’ Stuff

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque, Students

    (The library in our university has a special section with educational toys and other resources that students studying early childhood teaching can use. My friend and I walk into the section to find two people feeling each other up, complete with their hands down each other’s shirts. Normally in a situation like this I’d turn around and leave quietly, but my friend had other ideas.)

    Friend: *loudly* “Guys, seriously?! You’re in a teaching resource collection inside a library inside a university! This is a place of learning inside a place of learning inside a place of learning!”

    Class ‘A’ Sass

    | Eugene, OR, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (It is the first day of the new semester and our French teacher is explaining that the grades have all been reset to ‘A’s.)

    Teacher: “Let’s all have a moment of silence to relax in our a-ness.”

    (The class gradually starts laughing as what she said sinks in. The teacher looks embarrassed.)

    Teacher: “Okay, we don’t all have ‘A’s anymore.”

    Remember These Moments Like Tears In Rain

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Books & Reading, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (My English lit teacher and my philosophy teacher have the cutest bromance ever; their classrooms are next to each other and they keep the windows open so one person can hear the other, and more often than not they’ll have conversations by shouting out the window to the other person. Recently we were on the topic of comparing ‘Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?’ to its movie adaptation, ‘Blade Runner.’)

    Lit Teacher: “Hey, [Philosophy Teacher], would you ever have sex with a robot?”

    Philosophy Teacher: “Only if the robot was hot!”

    (Little did they know, the principal comes out of the corridor of the floor below us and he hears everything.)

    Principal: *shouting* “Stop talking about robot sex and get back to teaching, you two!”

    Unintentional Public Discussion

    | CA, USA | Rude & Risque, Students, Teachers

    (I’m a substitute teacher. Though fairly large, I am adept at silent movement and often walk around the classroom to ensure students are on task. This day, I found myself pausing as two female students are talking.)

    Student #1: “… and last night I had a dream about Mr. [Teacher].”

    Student #2: “What happened?”

    Student #1: “It was a sexy dream. I have Mr. [Teacher]’s class today. Life is so unfair.”

    Me: “So… who’s Mr. [Teacher]?”

    (Both students go rigid and then slowly turn around.)

    Student #2: “How long have you been there?”

    Me: “Long enough to remind you both that you are in public, so you might want to watch what you say out loud.”

    (They quietly worked the rest of the period.)


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