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    Category: Rude & Risque

    Keep It Above Desk And Above Board

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (It’s the first day of my psychology lecture course. It’s a stadium style classroom which is not a common classroom at my school. My professor is currently in the process of explaining the course when she suddenly stops and looks around the room for a moment.)

    Professor: “Oh and by the way. I can see beneath the desks. I can see everything. I had two students in here last term who were dating and sat beside each other… Don’t make me call you out on that. Just don’t, ew, don’t… do that…”

    A Growing Sense Of Confusion

    | UK | Bizarre/Silly, Religion, Rude & Risque, Students

    (I overhear my teacher talking with some classmates.)

    Classmate #1: *complaining* “Do you know what [Classmate #2] got me for Christmas?”

    Teacher: “What?”

    Classmate #1: “A ‘Grow-Your-Own-Jesus!'”

    Teacher: “Well, are you religious?”

    Classmate #1: “No!”

    Teacher: “Well, maybe she’s just trying to say that you need more of Jesus in your life.”

    Classmate #1: “Well, she got [Classmate #3] a ‘Grow-Your-Own-Pole-Dancer.’ What do you think she’s trying to say there?!”

    Not The Safest Way To Fly

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (In class, we are talking about when a man tried to sneak explosives onto a plane in his underwear.)

    Teacher: “Some person put explosions in his underpants.”

    Student: “Please word that differently.”

    The Crappier Side Of History

    | CT, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (I am having the social studies period with my teacher. We’re learning about English settlers. The teacher is writing ‘cash crop’ on the board and accidentally writes ‘cash crap’ and erases it quickly.)

    Me: *laughing*

    Teacher: “You were the only one who saw that, right?”

    Me: *nods, still laughing*

    (My class wouldn’t leave her alone after!)

    Blonde And Curly

    | IL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Students

    (I teach high school science. I am going over a lesson in genetics, involving the principle of incomplete dominance, such as how one parent with a dominant straight hair gene and one with a dominant curly hair gene can have an offspring with a blended trait of wavy hair.)

    Female Student: “Oh, my gosh, Mr. [My Name]! My hair is so curly! Seriously, you should see me when I get out of the shower!”

    Me: “…I don’t want to.”

    Female Student: “NO! NO! That’s not what I meant. Oh, my gosh… I mean you should see me when I get up in the morning!”

    Me: “I don’t want to see that either!”

    Female Student: “NO! NO! Aaaahhh!”

    (Ironically, she was the best student in the class, albeit a blonde!)

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