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  • August's Theme Of The Month: Best. Teacher. Ever!

    Category: Rude & Risque

    The Merde Has Hit The Fan

    | CO, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (In the 8th grade, our English teacher is teaching a class when she drops a book on her foot.)

    Teacher: “Merde!”

    Me: “What does ‘merde’ mean?”

    Teacher: “You promise you won’t tell the principal?”

    Class: “Sure!”

    Teacher: “It means s***.”

    Class: “Ooooooooooooh.”

    Teacher: “Oh, please, it’s not like you don’t hear that anywhere else!”

    KY Jellyfish

    | AZ, USA | Pets & Animals, Rude & Risque

    (We’re all doing a presentation about an organism, which we are assigned. My friend is assigned a jellyfish.)

    Friend: *explaining jellyfish stings* “Their tentacles have cnidocyte cells which inject venom into their prey. It’s triggered by just having contact with my orgasm’s tentacle.” *realizing what he said* “ORGANISM! I’m talking about jellyfish!”

    Teacher: “Okay, I think you’re done with your presentation. We didn’t need to know what triggers your tentacle…”

    Rated-Rolling ‘R’

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (My Spanish class is working on a project, and our teacher is playing music in Spanish for us.)

    Teacher: “Okay, this one is a little spicy…”

    (The song starts, and, as we can’t quite make out what they’re saying. We ignore it until this comes on…)

    Male Voice: “How do you say, ‘I like you’?”

    Female Voice: “‘Me gustas’…”

    Male Voice: “How do you say, ‘I want you’?”

    Female Voice: “‘Te quiero’…”

    Male Voice: “How do you say, ‘I need you’?”

    Female Voice: “‘Te necesito’…”

    Male Voice: “How do you say, ‘I wanna f*** you’?”

    (The entire class is laughing in sheer disbelief.)

    Teacher: “I told you it was naughty!”

    This Conversation Is Too Adult For You

    | CO, USA | Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    Instructor: “Okay, kids, it’s time to go meet moms and dads!”

    Five-Year-Old: “My mommy isn’t here. Daddy is here with his adult friend.”

    Stripped Of His Teaching License

    | Baytown, TX, USA | Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (I’m about to take a group of third graders to PE. They’re not allowed to have their coats in the gym.)

    Me: “Remember to take your coats off and leave them here.”

    Boy: “What? We have to take off our clothes?”

    Rest Of Class: “No, coats!”

    Me: “Please, please, please do not go home and tell your parents that I told you to take your clothes off!”

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