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    Category: Rude & Risque

    Ho Boy…

    , | Boulder, CO, USA | Games, Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (We’ve had some problems with the upper elementary kids’ language.)

    Me: *to the youth group* “You are welcome to play that game, but you have to call it ‘Kings and Peasants.’ You may NOT call it ‘Pimps and Hos.'”

    Child: “Okay… why?”

    Me: “Do you know those words mean?”

    Child: “Sure! Pimps are rich guys, and hoes work in the garden!”

    Not Quite Married To Those Weekend Plans

    | AZ, USA | Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (In geometry, we tend to go off topic:)

    Student: “Are you doing anything fun this weekend, Mr. [Teacher]?”

    Teacher: “Depends on my wife.”

    Class: *stunned silence then laughing*

    Teacher: “That’s not what I meant.”

    Sub-Standard Sub-Title

    | MN, USA | Rude & Risque, Technology

    (This happened in World History class in ninth grade. We are watching a video about the battle of Thermopylae on YouTube, and the teacher has the subtitles on.)

    Video: “Spartans were born for the battle.”

    Subs: “Spartans are Porn for the Back.”

    (The class bursts into laughter.)

    Teacher: “Umm… okay.”

    (A few minutes later:)

    Video: “King Leonidas…”

    Subs: “King Lee in my t*ts”

    (The class is now laughing hysterically.)

    Teacher: “Okay, I think we’re done with the subtitles.”

    Should Have Had Fore-warning

    | Athens, GA, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Teachers

    (In my junior year of high school, I take a Principles of Nursing class. Basically, it’s a course in first aid, hygiene, CPR, and a little bit of anatomy. In a class of maybe fifteen students, the teacher and I are the ONLY males in the room. Keep that in mind. One day, we are talking about the reproductive system. I don’t remember the exact context, but somehow it seems appropriate in the teacher’s mind to ask me:)

    Teacher: “[My Name,] are you circumcised?”

    (I am. I just don’t know how to respond to a question about my penis in a room full of (attractive) women.)

    Me: “Uh… I… Um…”

    Teacher: “It doesn’t make much of a difference. Just remember that if you’re not, it’s important to wash under the foreskin when you shower, to avoid the risk of infection.”

    Me: “I… Uh… I mean…”

    (The teacher then continued the lesson like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He was later fired, not for anything having to do with asking inappropriate questions of students but for growing marijuana on his property.)

    Definitely Getting A ‘D’ Now

    London, England, UK | Rude & Risque, Sports, Teachers

    (A student is trying to bunk history class by claiming he is on the school football team when he isn’t but the coach sent an email to all the teachers with a list of students on the team.)

    Student: “But, sir! I promise you, I’m on the team!”

    Teacher: “No, you’re not.”

    Student: “But how do you know?”

    Teacher: “It doesn’t say D***-head on the list.”

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