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    Category: Extra Stupid

    That Would Be A Miraculous Child

    | OR, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Students

    (We’re learning about Adolf Hitler and the teacher mentions that he was an illegitimate child.)

    Student #1: “What’s an illegitimate child?”

    Student #2: “Like when a chick has a baby, but she doesn’t know who the dad is!”

    Student #3: “Wait… but what if she has the baby and they don’t know who the mom is?”

    (Entire class goes silent and just stares at Student #3.)

    Teacher: “[Student #3], take a second and think about what you just said…”

    Summertime Sadness

    | Japan | Extra Stupid, Geography, Teachers

    (I am an American teaching English in Japan. In the Japanese school system the school year ends in March and picks up in April. The schools I work in are not heated or air conditioned. Being a California native, when it’s snowing outside and there’s no heat in the classrooms I wear about four layers to cope, but during the break the weather has warmed up enough to wear normal layers. This occurs after we come back from our brief, one month break. I’ve been working there for nine months. I am walking from the teacher’s room to the classroom with the teacher I am co-teaching the next class with.)

    Teacher: “How is the previous English teacher doing?”

    Me: *thinking back to the girl I replaced* “You mean Jennifer?”

    Teacher: *gives me an unsure look*

    Me: “She had red hair, was tall, and came from Colorado.”

    Teacher: “No, no. Not her.”

    Me: *thinking back further* “Do you mean Eric? He used to teach here two years ago?”

    Teacher: “No. No, not a man.”

    Me: “I don’t think there was anyone here before that.”

    Teacher: “No, the recent one! The fat girl from California!”

    Me: “Um… That would be me…”

    Teacher: “…”

    Not A Class Act

    | IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

    (Our voice and speech class will be collaborating with a directing class that meets at roughly the same time.)

    Teacher: “Their class starts at 2:20 and our class starts at 2:30, so show up to [location] at 2:30.”

    Student #1: “Uh, I have a class then.”

    (We all stare at her.)

    Student #2: “You have this class.”

    Student #1: “Oh, right.”

    Juan Born Every Minute

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Students

    (My students are translating a skit that uses ‘Juan Pablo’ (the Spanish equivalent of ‘John Doe’) as a character. Just for fun, I ask:)

    Me: “Can anyone tell me the fake name the police give an unidentified person? Like on CSI?”

    Overenthusiastic Student: “John Doe!”

    Me: “Good! Now, for bonus points, can anyone take a guess what they call an unidentified person in Spanish?”

    (The same student’s hand shoots up so fast, he almost falls out of his seat. I think he’s put two and two together.)

    Overenthusiastic Student: “Jesús Cristo!”

    Wasn’t Attracted To The Subject

    | Reading, England, UK | Exams/Tests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Students

    (At a revision lecture for one of the hardest modules in my engineering degree, a student who didn’t attend a single lecture walks in.)

    Lecturer: “Can I help you?”

    Student: “No, I’m fine.” *sits down*

    Lecturer: “This is ‘electromagnetism and its applications.’”

    Student: “Yeah, I know.”

    Me: “Good luck, mate…”

    Student: “I read the lecture note on day one. This s*** is easy.”

    (The next week he sat down for the exam, wrote his name, stared blankly at the question paper for 10 minutes, and then left without writing anything.)


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