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    Category: Extra Stupid

    Winter Can Give You A Good Licking

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

    (Before Christmas break we show our students ‘A Christmas Story’ in an assembly. After we get back, it’s extremely cold outside and a teacher walks up to me, stifling laughter.)

    Teacher: “Err… [My Name]?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Teacher: “I think you may need to call indoor recess for the rest of the week.”

    Me: “What’s happening?”

    Teacher: “Well… look out this window.”

    (I look outside and see at least four or five kids who’re stuck to the fences, tether-ball poles, and metal basketball hoops, while several more adults are walking out with water bottles. I realize exactly what had happened.)

    Me: “You know… it’s a good thing none of them got Red Rider B.B. guns for Christmas, or we’ll be dealing with shot-out-eyes.”

    (We had indoor recess for the rest of the week, as I announced to everyone NOT to lick flagpoles or metal, even if someone triple-dog dared them.)

    Stupidity Comes In Many Languages, Part 2

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Language & Words, Religion, Students

    (I go to a Catholic high school, and have a religion teacher who likes doing fake game shows as test prep.)

    Teacher: “Okay, first question. Did Jesus speak: a. Latin, b. Hebrew, c. Aramaic, or d. all of the above?”

    Student: “That’s a trick question; he didn’t speak any of those languages! He spoke Jewish!”

    Stupidity Comes In Many Languages

    Needs A Tutorial Tutorial

    | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Students

    (Our math class is notorious for having not-so-bright students, and watching them is pretty entertaining…)

    Teacher: “All right, we’re moving into the second unit of the year, and we’re going to do a quick tutorial to get us familiar with it.”

    (My classmate raises her hand.)

    Classmate: “I’m confused. What are we doing two of?

    (The teacher gives her a strange look, as no one knows what she means.)

    Teacher: “Two… of… what?”

    Classmate: “You said you were showing us two things.”

    Teacher: “Well, no, I’m going to show you a tutorial. Just one, I believe.”

    Classmate: “Exactly what I mean. What is a ‘torial?'”

    Teacher: “TUTORIAL, not—”

    Classmate: “Exactly! What the heck is a ‘torial” and why do we need two of them?!”

    History Is Stone Dead

    | USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

    (On this day we are learning about the generals of Alexander The Great. The teacher is showing us a picture of a stone sculpture of one of them.)

    Teacher: “Okay, so that’s it for today. Any questions?”

    Classmate: “Was he really made out of stone?”

    A Suspension On That Detention

    | TX, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Students

    (This student has gotten a reminder notice for lunch detention and goes to protest in the principal’s office.)

    Student: “This detention is totally wrong. I wasn’t really tardy yesterday.”

    Principal: “[Teacher] said you were in the hall talking to your friends when the bell rang, so she marked you tardy.”

    Student: “But I was right outside the door. She could see me so I shouldn’t have detention, right?”

    Principal: “No, you have to be in class when the bell rings. Just go to lunch detention.”

    (Student turns to walk out, mumbling under his breath.)

    Principal: “What is that in your back pocket?”

    Student: “Um…” *pulls out can of snuff* “…nothing?”

    Principal: “Okay, forget about the lunch detention…”

    Student: “Really?”

    Principal: “…because you’re suspended for the rest of the week for bringing that on campus.”

    Student: “That’s so not fair! How come everyone always picks on me?!”

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