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    Category: Extra Stupid

    He Must Have A Lot On His Plate

    | LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Students

    (I run the transportation for a large university. I employ some of the best and smartest student workers  and they’ve seen a lot of odd things. A student needs to register his car to park on campus. A student worker is creating the account when the following exchange happens:)

    Student Worker: “I need the license plate number.”

    Student: “What?”

    Student Worker: “The number off the license plate.”

    Student: “My car won’t fit in the building.”

    Student Worker: “The number of the plate.”

    Student: *relieved* “Oh, okay. Because I wouldn’t have been able to fit my car into the building.”

    Student Worker: “..”

    (This is a college student. Be afraid. Be very afraid of the future!)

    A New Grade Of Teacher

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid, Staff

    (I have just started a job as a first grade teacher. I’m coming in as a mid-year replacement, so I’m in and out of the filing room checking my students’ files to catch up. Each shelf is occupied by one entire grade. Later that day:)

    Secretary: “[My Name], you need to be putting your files back in alphabetical order when you’re finished with them.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! I thought I had.”

    (I go back to the filing room, but my files are alphabetized, just the way I left them. I shrug it off and leave to do some other work. Later:)

    Secretary: “[My Name], I was just back in the filing room and I TOLD you, you NEED to put your files back in ALPHABETICAL ORDER.”

    Me: “I did! I just checked on them. Didn’t you see? I have [last name that starts with A], [last name that starts with B]…”

    (I list the names of my students in alphabetical order.)

    Secretary: “…oh. I thought you had the whole shelf.”

    Me: “You thought I had taken over the entire first grade by myself?”

    Secretary: “Well, when you put it that way…”

    A Very Ballsy Recipe

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Bizarre/Silly, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (We are discussing current news stories. Somehow we got on the topic of how Ikea used horse meat to make their meat balls.)

    Teacher: “So instead of meatballs, they used horse meat and made horse balls.”

    Student #1: “I don’t know if I’d eat them. I guess it would all depend if they tasted good or not.”

    Student #2: “What?! So they just cut the balls off a horse and sold them?!”

    (The entire class laughed till the bell rang. For the rest of the year we called him CTBO, for Cut The Balls Off.)

    The Emancipation Declaration

    | USA | Extra Stupid, History, Students

    (I’m sitting in social studies next to a group of friends. I’m a big history nerd when it comes to the American War of Independence, and I’m joking around by quizzing my friends on the signers of the Declaration of Independence. I can list all their names in two minutes.)

    Me: *to Student #1* “How many signers can you name?”

    Student #1: “Uh, George Washington?”

    Me: “Nope. Most people can only remember a couple names from the war, but he wasn’t even in Philadelphia at the time.” *to Student #2* “Can you name any?”

    Student #2: “Abraham Lincoln!”

    O, Canaduh, Part 4

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words, Students

    (I’m in a class with a Canadian teacher. The teacher says something, and I respond. I forget the word I want in English, and say it in French.)

    Teacher: “Yes, that’s right, it does. Also, what she said was [quotes me in English].”

    Student: “How did you know she spoke French?”

    Me: “Uh, she’s Canadian. Most Canadians speak French.”

    Student: “But isn’t Canada a state?”

    (The teacher is watching us, obviously enjoying a conversation she’s heard many versions of, and not being on the receiving end for once.)

    Me: “No, it’s the country directly north of us. It’s still part of the Commonwealth.”

    Student: “You mean they’re communist?”

    O, Canaduh, Part 3
    O, Canaduh, Part 2
    O, Canaduh

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